‘Twas the Week After Impeachmas

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‘Twas the week after Impeachmas and all through the House
The Dems were still cheering at impeaching Trump, that louse!
The Articles were hung near the Senate with care
In the hopes that Cocaine Mitch would run a trial that’s fair.

The Squad were nestled all snug in their beliefs
That impeaching Trump would soon bring them relief.
And Speaker Pelosi in her Prada, after finishing a night cap,
Had just settled in for a long wine-fueled nap.

When out near the Mall there arose such a clamor
But Pelosi didn’t stir because, well, she was hammered.
Rashida Tlaib took charge, running out like a heifer,
And started screaming, “Let’s impeach that MFer!”

The moon on the snow made the light seem to dance
And made poor little Adam take a Schiff in his pants.
When what to his big bugged out eyes did appear
But a big monster truck with Trump/Pence on its rear.

With an orange-hued driver, so lively and plump
They knew in a moment it was President Trump
More rapid than Creepy Joe Biden feels shame
He called to his minions and called them by name.

“On Nunes! On Limbaugh! On Pence and Rudy!
On Laura! On Pirro! On Rush and Hannity!
To heck with Impeachmas and what the Left wants
Let’s fill up their Twitter accounts with our taunts!”

As dry heaves wracked the Speaker before she blew chow
The Left cried, “We impeached him, but how?
How is he still more popular than we think?”
When Ms. Pelosi replied, “I’ll have another drink.”

And then in a twinkling (or was it a thunk),
AG Barr then appeared and said, “Listen, you punks.
Your articles were bogus, not a crime to be had,
And John Durham knows if you’ve been good or been bad.”

Trump dressed in a suit, dark blue, almost black
And his fingers flew quickly as he Tweeted another attack
“Impeachment is a hoax! Dems hunt for a witch!
And Schiff is a low down dumb son of a snitch!”

His eyes, how they sparkled, each time he hit Send
And then he would insult them again and again
He questioned Dems’ ethics and the extent of their crimes
He mocked Elizabeth Warren, for the sake of old times.

He blew up their Twitters, he lambasted the news
He made them even angrier by supporting the Jews
He mocked them as weak and without many brains
And said, “Take a look at those Stock Market gains!”

AOC was astounded! Adam Schiff was aghast!
(Speaker Pelosi, of course, was still drunk off her ass.)
Bernie Sanders was furious! Liz Warren’s face looked quite grim.
Tom Steyer kept trying to get people to pay attention to him.

Mayor Pete was in shock, for Trump’s tactics he did resent!
Tulsi Gabbard showed up just to vote “Present.”
The blood from all the Left’s faces did drain
When their rhetoric made Marianne Williamson sound sane.

Trump’s minions arrived on the White House West Lawn
And made note the Left’s hopes of removing Trump were gone.
The Left made the bed in which they would now lie
And all they could do was yell, curse, and cry.

There would be no removal, the impeachment was for naught
And soon the full fury of John Durham would be wrought
Their crimes would be exposed, their hopes would be dashed
(But not before their checks from George Soros could be cashed).

Impeachmas was pyrrhic in spite of their bliss
‘Cause they forgot “If you come for the king, you better not miss.”
Even Speaker Pelosi, still tipsy from the booze
Knew in the upcoming election, they’d be lucky to lose.

With one final Tweet, the President did turn
And let the Left’s hopes for 2020 smolder and burn
As the truck sped off like a giant metal manta
AOC looked puzzled and asked, “Was that Santa?”

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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Sometimes politics make for strange bedfellows, and other times it makes for “no duh” bedfellows. The Left’s Congressional Freshman phenoms fall into the latter group. Representatives Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, and Ayanna Pressley and their supporters are calling themselves “The Squad.” Although they came from different backgrounds, they are united by their politics, positions, and drive to make the country more progressive.

What makes these four women and their followers so special? I’ve been trying to figure that out since the Left made them their de facto leaders/golden children/rock stars. Are they the next generation of leaders or the political equivalent of Pogs? Let’s find out!

The Squad

What the Left thinks it means – four strong female Congresswomen who represent the future and care about the important issues of the day

What it really means – the personification of identity politics

I have a confession to make. I actually do know why The Squad is being held up as the Great Not-White-At-All Hope, and it has nothing to do with what they do or have done. Their appeal to the Left is literally skin deep. The fact they’re women and progressive only adds to their appeal to many. And the fact they’re all vocal opponents to President Donald Trump makes them the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Which begs the question of how great an invention sliced bread is, but that’s the blog post for another time.

As someone who looks for results rather than hype, I did some digging to see what The Squad has accomplished. In terms of legislative accomplishments, let’s just say I tied them and I wasn’t even trying. Outside of the political realm, they’ve created a great brand that people can identify with, especially on social media. Of course, social media isn’t the real world, so their accomplishments are pretty much the same as mine: being opinionated in cyberspace. The differences, though, are I don’t try to pass stupid legislation while I do it and I’m not wasting taxpayer money to do it. Taxpayer time, yes, but not taxpayer money.

The Squad has also been thorns in the side of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (which makes me laugh because of what her party has done to bring about The Squad and how they repay her with openly suggesting she’s a racist). The same Leftists who propped up Pelosi are now ready to throw her under The Squad bus because…she’s not as progressive as The Squad is! (Quick investment tip: buy a LOT of shares in Orville Redenbacher.) Although this kind of behavior is red meat…sorry, white tofu to the Left, it isn’t working very well with the rest of the population. I can’t account for all of them, but from what I’ve read at least half of The Squad are seeing approval ratings lower than the President’s. Not nationally, mind you. In their own districts.

Granted, The Squad may be in districts safely in Leftist hands, so there may not be reason to worry…except if people decide to challenge them from the Right and the Left. So far, there is at least one known challenger to The Squad’s most vocal leader, the aforementioned Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (a.k.a. the Socialist Socialite), and there is enough time before the 2020 elections for more to join the fray. This has the potential to open a wider rift between The Squad and the Not-Leftist-Enough Democrats, who have watched The Squad go from back-benchers to unintended spokespeople for the Democrats. The impending Leftist civil war is going to be interesting to watch, if only because it underscores the pyrrhic nature of the victory they achieved in 2018 in part because of The Squad.

Congratulations, Leftists. You’ve created the means of your own destruction. But unlike in the original (and vastly funnier) “Ghostbusters,” it’s not a giant marshmallow man coming to destroy you; it’s identity politics which you helped to make mainstream.

Of course, anyone who decides The Squad isn’t all that great will get showered with allegations of racism, sexism, Islamophobia, fascism, white supremacy, patriarchy, Nazism, and other invectives that have become the new slang for the Left (along with copious amounts of vulgarity). The issue is none of the legitimate criticisms raised about The Squad have anything to do with any of that. Sure, there are people out there giving as good as they’re getting, but most of us between the Left and the Right see The Squad not as a powerful force for good, but as a group whose watched their expectations drop lower than a snake’s belt buckle because it’s hip to hate President Trump yet manage to limbo underneath these expectations all while standing upright.

I don’t have an issue with Rep. Ilhan’s faith. I have an issue with her possibly breaking the law repeatedly prior to becoming a Representative.

I don’t have an issue with Rep. Tlaib’s faith, either. I have an issue with her ties to Hamas, a known terrorist organization.

I don’t have an issue with Rep. Pressley’s race. I have an issue with her suggesting there are blacks that should be silent on racial issues because they may not agree with her.

I don’t have an issue with Rep. Ocasio-Cortez’s gender. I have an issue with her being intellectually and emotionally unsuited to represent herself, let alone her Congressional district.

And collectively, I don’t have an issue with any boxes the members of The Squad can mark off on a checklist. I have an issue with them criticizing others for doing what they do instead of finding a way to bring people together. As the old Spider-Man comics say, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Maybe The Squad prefers DC to Marvel, but the point is they still haven’t grasped the concept of leadership, all while putting themselves out there as leaders. The longer The Squad goes unchecked in the political and communication arenas, the harder it will be to topple them.

And, no, I do not condone violence or threats against these women. Beat them with better arguments, not with your fists. And given some of the stupefying things The Squad has said since taking office, you won’t even have to work that hard!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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When former Trump attorney and insider Michael Cohen appeared before the House Oversight Committee, people just knew sparks would fly. And fly they did, although not in some expected ways. One controversy that came from the circus…I mean hearing involved Lynne Patton, an official from the Department of Housing and Urban Development and a friend of Cohen’s who appeared at the clown show…I mean hearing. Patton, who just happens to be black, caught the attention of Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib and used Patton’s appearance to accuse Congressman Mark Meadows of being racist by using Patton as a “prop.” This accusation has evolved into Patton being called a “token” by Leftists.

“Token” is a racially-charged adjective, to put it mildly, because of the implications around it. Yet, it seems to only be used in one direction. To better understand the controversy (and to complete my weekly obligation to you), let’s delve deeper into this word

token

What the Left thinks it means – a minority who is dragged out by the Right to distract people from their racism, a minority denied agency by the Right

What it really means – a minority who doesn’t subscribe to Leftist ideology

And you thought it was just a character from South Park!

The Left is obsessed with identity politics, or as I call it bean-counting for votes. By targeting certain groups of people, the Left can energize those people into potential voters, which in turn translates into money and power for the Left. These tactics usually work, too, as the election for Congresswoman Tlaib suggests. It usually works to keep people within these minorities allied with the Left.

The operative word, however, is “usually.” Sometimes, members of a minority group (or perceived minority group as is the case with women) will deviate from the Left’s agenda and find their own way. Once you break away from the Leftist hivemind, you become an “other” to the Left, and all the surface courtesy you get while dancing to the Left’s tune gets replaced by a deep scorn that rivals that of the closest betrayed lovers.

That’s where using “token” comes into play. By suggesting those minorities who break away from the Left are only being used by the Right and are too dumb to see it, the Left not only reinforces its message that they care about minorities, but also shows what will happen to them if they don’t follow along. After all, a little negative reinforcement never hurt anybody, right? Not so much, as we’ll see in a moment.

The funny thing is the Left doesn’t give minorities agency in the first place. If anything, it’s white Leftists who are the ones who take up “the struggle” on behalf of minorities, even when said minorities don’t want them involved. Take Black Lives Matter, for example. Once white Leftists got it off the ground and helped it to gain prominence, BLM decided they no longer needed or wanted white assistance, or at the very least they wanted whites to get behind the black leaders. (Ms. Parks, Ms. Rosa Parks, call for you on the Black Irony Phone.) As Leftist movements gain momentum, the members tend to purge their roles of white supporters, thus discovering their own agency in a way. The thing is they already had all the agency they needed to speak up without white support or assistance. They’ve always had it; they were just convinced by white Leftists to not use it.

On the other hand, any minority who uses their agency to speak out against what the Left is doing isn’t even considered to be human, let alone a “real” member of that minority.

And it’s the Right who are the racists?

The fact the Left resorts to calling blacks “tokens” when confronted with the inconvenient fact that they have the ability to speak without using a white Leftist mouthpiece speaks volumes as to how backwards the Left is on race relations. They will give Black Lives Matter a platform while denying people like Patton even exist. That’s where I differ with the Left. (Well, that, and I like to bathe more than once a Bernie Sanders Presidential campaign.) I want both Black Lives Matter and Ms. Patton to speak their minds, even if I don’t agree, because I respect their rights to speak. I want them to speak, if for no other reason than it potentially gives me more material for blog posts, but ultimately it’s because I don’t have the power nor the authority to deny them the agency they already have.

As far as Ms. Patton is concerned, she is no more a token than I am eligible to be Pope. She is a human being with thoughts, feelings, and opinions, just like me. That to me makes her as much of a human being worth even basic respect as anyone. She was motivated to be at the Cohen hearing for reasons I will not begin to try to articulate, but the fact she was there presumably of her own free will (at least, that’s what she’s said after the Leftist smear job against her) means she is neither a token, nor a pawn. She is an American exercising her freedom of association, not some “other” who should be derided for no legitimate reason.

And that’s exactly what calling her a token is: deriding her for no legitimate reason.

But tell me again how you Leftists are more open to diversity…