‘Twas the Week After Impeachmas

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‘Twas the week after Impeachmas and all through the House
The Dems were still cheering at impeaching Trump, that louse!
The Articles were hung near the Senate with care
In the hopes that Cocaine Mitch would run a trial that’s fair.

The Squad were nestled all snug in their beliefs
That impeaching Trump would soon bring them relief.
And Speaker Pelosi in her Prada, after finishing a night cap,
Had just settled in for a long wine-fueled nap.

When out near the Mall there arose such a clamor
But Pelosi didn’t stir because, well, she was hammered.
Rashida Tlaib took charge, running out like a heifer,
And started screaming, “Let’s impeach that MFer!”

The moon on the snow made the light seem to dance
And made poor little Adam take a Schiff in his pants.
When what to his big bugged out eyes did appear
But a big monster truck with Trump/Pence on its rear.

With an orange-hued driver, so lively and plump
They knew in a moment it was President Trump
More rapid than Creepy Joe Biden feels shame
He called to his minions and called them by name.

“On Nunes! On Limbaugh! On Pence and Rudy!
On Laura! On Pirro! On Rush and Hannity!
To heck with Impeachmas and what the Left wants
Let’s fill up their Twitter accounts with our taunts!”

As dry heaves wracked the Speaker before she blew chow
The Left cried, “We impeached him, but how?
How is he still more popular than we think?”
When Ms. Pelosi replied, “I’ll have another drink.”

And then in a twinkling (or was it a thunk),
AG Barr then appeared and said, “Listen, you punks.
Your articles were bogus, not a crime to be had,
And John Durham knows if you’ve been good or been bad.”

Trump dressed in a suit, dark blue, almost black
And his fingers flew quickly as he Tweeted another attack
“Impeachment is a hoax! Dems hunt for a witch!
And Schiff is a low down dumb son of a snitch!”

His eyes, how they sparkled, each time he hit Send
And then he would insult them again and again
He questioned Dems’ ethics and the extent of their crimes
He mocked Elizabeth Warren, for the sake of old times.

He blew up their Twitters, he lambasted the news
He made them even angrier by supporting the Jews
He mocked them as weak and without many brains
And said, “Take a look at those Stock Market gains!”

AOC was astounded! Adam Schiff was aghast!
(Speaker Pelosi, of course, was still drunk off her ass.)
Bernie Sanders was furious! Liz Warren’s face looked quite grim.
Tom Steyer kept trying to get people to pay attention to him.

Mayor Pete was in shock, for Trump’s tactics he did resent!
Tulsi Gabbard showed up just to vote “Present.”
The blood from all the Left’s faces did drain
When their rhetoric made Marianne Williamson sound sane.

Trump’s minions arrived on the White House West Lawn
And made note the Left’s hopes of removing Trump were gone.
The Left made the bed in which they would now lie
And all they could do was yell, curse, and cry.

There would be no removal, the impeachment was for naught
And soon the full fury of John Durham would be wrought
Their crimes would be exposed, their hopes would be dashed
(But not before their checks from George Soros could be cashed).

Impeachmas was pyrrhic in spite of their bliss
‘Cause they forgot “If you come for the king, you better not miss.”
Even Speaker Pelosi, still tipsy from the booze
Knew in the upcoming election, they’d be lucky to lose.

With one final Tweet, the President did turn
And let the Left’s hopes for 2020 smolder and burn
As the truck sped off like a giant metal manta
AOC looked puzzled and asked, “Was that Santa?”

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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Welcome to the holiday season, where it seems like just about everyone is celebrating something. Christmas. Hanukkah. Boxing Day. Kwanzaa. International Day of the Sea Otter. (Okay, I made that one up, but I’m sure Hallmark and the US Postal Service are already working on cards to make that a thing.) And thanks to the Left, there’s a new one: Impeachmas.

Thanks to the House of Representatives impeaching President Donald Trump, Leftists went from the depth of despair to the heights of ecstasy in the span of a few days, mostly because Twitter Leftists don’t understand the impeachment process. No word yet on whether the aforementioned Hallmark and/or USPS are recognizing it as an official holiday yet, but it’s still early.

I know I’ve been harping on impeachment a lot lately, but with this new holiday, I want to show the appropriate amount of diversity and discuss it.

Mainly so I can mock it.

Impeachmas

What the Left thinks it means – a celebration of the rightful impeachment of Donald Trump

What it really means – a celebration of a foregone conclusion that will most likely accomplish nothing

As I’ve noted previously, the Left are primarily short-term thinkers, meaning they go more for instant gratification than long-term strategic victories. Remember when former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid enacted the “nuclear option” for President Barack Obama’s judicial appointments? Yeah, that worked out really well until Mitch McConnell used the same tactic to get President Trump’s judicial appointments pushed through like a Chipotle meal.

Impeachmas works on the same premise. It doesn’t matter what happens down the road; what matters is President Trump is impeached for whatever reason because it makes the Left feel good. And judging from the amount of whining, complaining, and emotional outbursts ranging from anger to frustration to depression that I’ve seen on social media, they needed this one to make them feel good for a little while. When you look at it from a slightly different perspective, President Trump’s impeachment was like a drug, which makes House Democrats the pushers.

As with other drugs, eventually the high will wear off. In this case, when the Senate gets the articles of impeachment and laughs them out of the Senate chamber (and justifiably so). Then what? And that’s the part the Left can’t answer because they’re too busy relishing their “accomplishment.” Of course, even Stevie Wonder channeling the Great Kreskin could have seen the result of the impeachment effort following the 2018 midterm elections, so it’s really not an accomplishment, per se. It’s like me throwing a party every Saturday and Sunday when I wake up and can stay in my jammies all day.

Yes, my Leftist friends, I am going to be a buzzkill, but since I’m not on your holiday card list, I don’t care.

Here’s the funny part. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and several other House Democrats talked at length about how somber and serious impeachment was. (It was so somber and serious, many House Democrats cheered when the articles of impeachment were approved.) Yet, outside the chamber, Leftists everywhere were celebrating, which undercuts what the Speaker was saying. I have to give credit where credit is due, though. Speaker Pelosi was correct. Impeachment is a serious matter and shouldn’t be taken lightly. To celebrate the outcome of a successful vote for impeachment makes the Left look really stupid. I mean, even more stupid than the articles of impeachment themselves, but I’ve already stepped off the soapbox on that subject.

Leftists will also get a bit of a tingle knowing the President was impeached, but before they go all Chris Matthews with Obama on us, let me interject another perspective. The first article of impeachment was for abuse of power, which isn’t actually against the law. By voting in favor of impeaching President Trump on that charge, the House has essentially created law without debate, without giving it to the Senate for consideration and debate, without the President signing or vetoing it, and without following normal legislative and/or legal protocol. To build upon a well-worn legal notion, they have not only proven you can indict a ham sandwich, but can charge and convict that ham sandwich of anything, legal or not, solely by the say-so of the House of Representatives.

And just like with Harry Reid nuking the nuclear option, this will come back to bite the Left in the ass like a school of piranha going after Rosie O’Donnell. The political pendulum will swing back someday, and what you set forth today may turn against you tomorrow. I wonder how many Leftists celebrating Impeachmas will be celebrating when the next Leftist/Democrat President gets impeached for not being a Republican by a Republican House. I’m guessing, oh, zero.

In the meantime, there is already a growing backlash against the House Democrats, not just in polling data, but in actual potential voters. I follow the #WalkAway movement on Facebook and have noticed a lot of former Democrats deciding to do just that because of the way House Democrats ran the impeachment circus. In some polls, impeachment is underwater in popularity, albeit within the margin of error. Even so, you cannot assume more people favor impeachment than oppose it. And with Leftists holding public Impeachmas parties and sharing photos on social media, you can bet those numbers will make Captain Nemo look landlocked.

We can have a discussion on whether President Donald Trump deserves to be impeached, but Impeachmas isn’t that discussion. It’s the epitome of being sore winners. And no matter how many times you try to impeach the President, it won’t undo the 2016 election. At best, you’ll get President Mike Pence and have to start the process all over again, this time with someone much harder to paint as crooked.

Good luck with that.