‘Twas the week after Impeachmas and all through the House
The Dems were still cheering at impeaching Trump, that louse!
The Articles were hung near the Senate with care
In the hopes that Cocaine Mitch would run a trial that’s fair.
The Squad were nestled all snug in their beliefs
That impeaching Trump would soon bring them relief.
And Speaker Pelosi in her Prada, after finishing a night cap,
Had just settled in for a long wine-fueled nap.
When out near the Mall there arose such a clamor
But Pelosi didn’t stir because, well, she was hammered.
Rashida Tlaib took charge, running out like a heifer,
And started screaming, “Let’s impeach that MFer!”
The moon on the snow made the light seem to dance
And made poor little Adam take a Schiff in his pants.
When what to his big bugged out eyes did appear
But a big monster truck with Trump/Pence on its rear.
With an orange-hued driver, so lively and plump
They knew in a moment it was President Trump
More rapid than Creepy Joe Biden feels shame
He called to his minions and called them by name.
“On Nunes! On Limbaugh! On Pence and Rudy!
On Laura! On Pirro! On Rush and Hannity!
To heck with Impeachmas and what the Left wants
Let’s fill up their Twitter accounts with our taunts!”
As dry heaves wracked the Speaker before she blew chow
The Left cried, “We impeached him, but how?
How is he still more popular than we think?”
When Ms. Pelosi replied, “I’ll have another drink.”
And then in a twinkling (or was it a thunk),
AG Barr then appeared and said, “Listen, you punks.
Your articles were bogus, not a crime to be had,
And John Durham knows if you’ve been good or been bad.”
Trump dressed in a suit, dark blue, almost black
And his fingers flew quickly as he Tweeted another attack
“Impeachment is a hoax! Dems hunt for a witch!
And Schiff is a low down dumb son of a snitch!”
His eyes, how they sparkled, each time he hit Send
And then he would insult them again and again
He questioned Dems’ ethics and the extent of their crimes
He mocked Elizabeth Warren, for the sake of old times.
He blew up their Twitters, he lambasted the news
He made them even angrier by supporting the Jews
He mocked them as weak and without many brains
And said, “Take a look at those Stock Market gains!”
AOC was astounded! Adam Schiff was aghast!
(Speaker Pelosi, of course, was still drunk off her ass.)
Bernie Sanders was furious! Liz Warren’s face looked quite grim.
Tom Steyer kept trying to get people to pay attention to him.
Mayor Pete was in shock, for Trump’s tactics he did resent!
Tulsi Gabbard showed up just to vote “Present.”
The blood from all the Left’s faces did drain
When their rhetoric made Marianne Williamson sound sane.
Trump’s minions arrived on the White House West Lawn
And made note the Left’s hopes of removing Trump were gone.
The Left made the bed in which they would now lie
And all they could do was yell, curse, and cry.
There would be no removal, the impeachment was for naught
And soon the full fury of John Durham would be wrought
Their crimes would be exposed, their hopes would be dashed
(But not before their checks from George Soros could be cashed).
Impeachmas was pyrrhic in spite of their bliss
‘Cause they forgot “If you come for the king, you better not miss.”
Even Speaker Pelosi, still tipsy from the booze
Knew in the upcoming election, they’d be lucky to lose.
With one final Tweet, the President did turn
And let the Left’s hopes for 2020 smolder and burn
As the truck sped off like a giant metal manta
AOC looked puzzled and asked, “Was that Santa?”