Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

By the time you read this, Puddin’ Head Joe will have given his latest State of the Union Address where he will say we’re doing great under Bidenomics while calling out one of the biggest issues we face in America today.

Shrinkflation.

Not illegal immigration. Not the national debt ballooning to Rosie-O’Donnell-and-Michael-Moore-at-an-all-you-can-eat-buffet levels. Not fentanyl addiction, the price of goods and services, or our involvement in two wars. Getting less for the same price we paid for the same item previously.

At least Puddin’ Head Joe has his thumb firmly up his own ass or else he might be tempted to do something. In the meantime, we can talk about shrinkflation in terms even Puddin’ Head Joe can understand.

shrinkflation

What the Left thinks it means – when greedy companies charge the same price, but give consumers less

What it really means – when companies try to balance customer demand and production costs

I will warn you this is some economics talk, so if it’s not your bag, you may not want to continue. Unless you want to see me use the word “fuck” a lot. I bear no responsibility for any boredom or drowsiness you feel reading this week’s Lexicon.

With that out of the way, fuck.

When costs go up due to…oh I don’t know…a fucking idiot using our budget like the ATM at a strip club for compulsive people, companies have to figure out a way to continue doing business. Since most companies are run by people who have even a fleeting understanding of the laws of supply and demand, this sets into motion a series of decisions. Raise prices to compensate for the cost of doing business, offer less and try to keep prices lower, or do a combination of the two?

Shrinkflation is the combination of the two. Instead of charging the actual price of a good or service (which may negatively impact demand), companies will keep the price at the same level as before the cost hike, but they have to find a way to balance the cost with the price point. That usually means giving people less or taking a loss.

The other option on the shrinkflation table is to reduce the size of the packaging, thus reducing the amount you get. Granted, it’s usually a little bit here and there, but it can make all the difference if you get to the end of your package of Oreos and you’re missing one or two. And since we’re dealing with milk’s favorite cookie, that’s a sin against Man and Nature.

Now, for the people who don’t even have a Cliff’s Notes idea of the law of supply and demand (i.e. Leftists), the obvious solution is for the company to take a loss. After all, it’s just money and these companies make tons of it. The issue at hand for them is greed. In their hivemind, greed is immoral (except when it’s done to advance Leftist causes), so there is a moral obligation for companies to not make any more money than necessary.

Sound familiar? If not, let me give you a clue: it’s the entire fucking idea behind Puddin’ Head Joe’s push to deal with shrinkflation.

But wait, there’s more! Puddin’ Head Joe announced he was launching a task force to combat…“unfair and illegal pricing.” Yep, government has to get involved to help consumers. And I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong with that. Look at the success of Obamacare!

On second thought, let’s not.

The thing is government can’t fight greed. Greed is a human trait, so combating it means fighting human nature. Of course, the government has been fighting wars on drugs and poverty for decades, so maybe the powers that be stupid think following the same script will work this time. It just needs time and money…no, wait, that’s Ukraine.

Regardless, it’s a fundamentally stupid idea that doesn’t attack the real issue. It’s not necessarily the greed of the companies that needs to be addressed, but the greed of the consumers. Whether you clip coupons like a rabbi performing brises on straight commission or look for sales and deals on items you want or need, we are all trying to get our dollars to stretch as much as we can. Especially these days when inflation is higher than Hunter Biden on any day ending in, well, “day.” That puts the producer and the buyer at an impasse, as the producer is trying to make as much money as possible without pricing themselves into oblivion.

But here’s the part the Left doesn’t understand: that’s a part of the law of supply and demand. It’s not like if a company makes one penny more than it “should” the buyer is fucked. It just means in that particular transaction, the producer (i.e. the one accepting all the risk) made a penny. Having some no-name, no-brain bureaucrat with a shiny new office and a meaningless title take that penny away isn’t going to fix the problem, but it may start a whole new problem: government taking more than just that one penny.

One of my immutable truths is “The sole purpose of any bureaucracy is to grow itself to the point it becomes irremovable.” If Puddin’ Head Joe’s task force can take away one penny of profit in the name of unfair business practices, what’s to stop it from taking another penny and another and another and so on using the same rationale? As long as there are people who believe businesses are fucking them over, there will always be a line outside the door of people willing to “stick it to The Man.”

But there comes a point where “sticking it to The Man” results in negative consequences. Just ask Walgreens and CVS, who have been plagued by continuous shoplifting in California and are pulling out of some areas only to get shamed by community leaders for trying to cut the company’s losses and closing stores in these areas. Of course, if these same community leaders gave two shits about the shoplifting and tried fixing that problem instead of bitching to Walgreens and CVS, maybe those locations wouldn’t be trying to get out in the first place.

Nahhhhh. That’s too simple. Has to be racism because…fuck you racists!

As consumers, we have to understand as prices go up for the things we buy and use, those same prices are going up to get us these things. The way Puddin’ Head Joe wants us to think ignores that reality and creates a straw man that would put Ray Bolger to shame. And, yes, if there is a company that charges the same price before Inflationpalooza but delivers only 1/100 of the product, that company should get the shit kicked out of them. But not through violence or government interference. In the place where it really matters, the free market.

And that’s where any shrinkflation should be addressed, to be honest. Money talks, bullshit walks, and Leftists balk, and it’s the best way to balance the needs and wants of all parties directly involved. And it will piss off people who don’t like the free market, so win-win!

Seriously, shrinkflation is only a problem for those who don’t get how free market capitalism works. Which means Puddin’ Head Joe is going to make it a problem, and we’re all going to feel the impact of his attempts to “fix” it.

Oh joy.