Doomsday Proggers

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We’re heading to war with Iran! Innocent soldiers will lose their lives because President Donald Trump is trying to distract people from impeachment/a dictator/an immature adult/a toddler with access to the nuclear codes/whatever the anti-Trump line is today!

Not to mention, the world is on fire! Australian forests are ablaze because we didn’t take climate change seriously! Now, there are millions of people and animals dead, injured, or without a home! If only we had listened to Saint Greta Thunberg and done something!

And going back to President Trump, he’s impeached and is an existential threat to the world because he’s unstable! He’s destroying our democracy with his criminal activity and rampant racism/sexism/xenophobia/homophobia/transphobia! He needs to be brought to justice before the world explodes!

Over the past few years, we’ve heard more doom and gloom from the Left than a heavy drinking pessimistic Nostradamus after reading Sylvia Plath. Whether it’s climate change or the potential for war with any number of countries in the world or just America in general, the Left never seems to give us the benefit of the doubt. If anything, they think we’re the scum of the Earth, an inept bunch of bunglers who can’t seem to do anything right (and should try to do everything Left). To the Leftists reading this, let me give you a piece of advice.

Shut up. We’re not doomed today any more than we were yesterday, and if you’re paying attention, we made it to today just fine without being destroyed by whatever you think was going to destroy us yesterday.

Let’s face it, the Left went from “Hope and Change” to “Hope We Don’t Die.” This is because the Left isn’t hopeful or optimistic at all. They see everything as a failure that only they (i.e. big government) can fix, so they have to be in a constant state of despair to give the impression things are worse off than they actually are.

That’s one of the reasons I became a recovering Leftist. I try to see the good in the world, but being a Leftist made that impossible because if you believe everything is on the verge of collapse, anarchy, and destruction, you kinda lose the joy of life. Being that down about everything is tiring, as is trying to keep up with the Oppressed Person/Culture of the Day and the squawking points that accompany that. But it’s not serious. I mean, if it were, Hallmark would be the first ones out of the gates with “Sorry the Planet Is on Fire” or “Sympathies for Being a Victim of the Wage Gap” cards. (By the way, if anyone from Hallmark is reading this, let’s collaborate on this idea. I’m good for a lot more ideas like those!)

The reason why the Left is a bunch of Negative Nellies is simple: control. Through manipulating how people feel about what they believe are vital issues, they can control how the people react, usually by voting for Leftist candidates and devoting time, energy, and above all else money to Leftist causes. Yet, while doomsday is being whipped into a lather, the Left has yet to deliver. Climate change? Only left-leaning pseudo-scientists and their spokesbots still believe “the Earth has a fever.” Gun violence? For all the attention mass shootings have gotten, the stats don’t bear out the crisis the Left says is happening. War with Iran? It’s still early, but so far signs point to the same result as the wars that were supposed to happen if we provoked North Korea and China, which was…no war at all. It’s almost as if…now hear me out…the Left sucks at predicting the future. Remember when Paul Krugman predicted the Stock Market would tank if President Trump was elected? Didn’t happen! People dying due to repealing Net Neutrality? We’re still waiting on the body count, but from what we’ve seen so far, it’s been a big goose egg. What about the people who would be dying in the streets if we pulled out of the Paris Climate Accord? Ooooh, sor-ray. Not a one.

Sooooo…I gotta be honest here. I’m not seeing a reason to get worked up this time. Just like Al Gore buying up beachfront property with money he made talking about how sea levels would be rising, the actions (and doomsday predictions) don’t match reality. Which, ironically enough, is completely predictable.

The funny thing about the Left’s predictions about war with Iran is they echo the same predictions that Ronald Reagan would be getting us into WWIII by provoking the (now defunct) Soviet Union. At least they recycle their bad ideas, but it should bear repeating they were wrong then and they’re wrong now. Of course, if we get into a war with Iran, the same Leftists who are so concerned about our troops dying will be among the first to demand we get out of a war their ineptitude got us into in the first place. And it shows how little they actually feel about our troops. If we get into a war with Iran, we have the upper hand because, well, we have all the cool toys and the manpower to accomplish the three basic objectives in war.

1) Kill the bad guys.
2) Break their stuff.
3) Repeat steps 1 and 2 until the bad guys surrender.

To simultaneously elevate and undercut our fighting men and women is a true skill only the Left could accomplish. But fear not, my Leftist friends, we got this. All you need to do is hold your anti-war rallies, pretend to care about Iran, and stay out of the way to let the military do its thing.

Oh, and cool it on all the doomsday talk, okay? Have a Pop Tart and watch YouTube.