If I Were Google

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The tech world got rocked by a scandal within Google starting with a 10 page memo written by a male employee regarding a desire to start a conversation about…treating everyone not as labels, but as individuals! The horror!!!! How dare a white man suggest people are more than identity politics!

Google, being the rational and totally non-SJW company they are, fired him for a violation of their code of conduct, which has set off a firestorm among those of us who like free speech and free thought. Whether this is a free speech issue is subject to debate, but what isn’t up for debate is the regulatory complaint being taken against Google for unlawful termination of employment. Ouch.

If I could offer a bit of advice to the Google overlords (and they would listen to it for longer than the attention span of a ferret on espresso-flavored crack), it would go a little something like this.

1) Take the loss, kids. How can I put this lightly? You screwed up. Bad. I’m talking Dennis Rodman going to North Korea bad.

2) Hire him back yesterday. See point 1. The first step to righting this Titanic of a mistake is hiring back the guy you fired, and if I could make a suggestion, give him a big pay raise and a public apology.

3) Take his concerns seriously. Regardless of how you feel about what was said in the memo, there is a reason he felt the need to speak up about it. It’s going to take a bit of self-reflection, but if it makes for a better workplace (and I believe it will), it will be better for you. Not to mention, it might go a long way towards getting your regulatory and possible legal woes dismissed.

4) Change. The extent of the change will depend upon a) step 3, and b) how much you want to keep your jobs.

5) Open your minds to new ideas. And this is going to be the hard one for you Googleftists, but it’s going to be the best thing you can do. The tech industry is all about innovation, and making this change would put you out in front of most of the tech companies out there. And that will buy you a lot of good will.

And you won’t look like total asshats in the process.

Author: Thomas

I'm a small town boy living in the heart of Iowa watching the world go by with my wife and dog.