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It’s been 5 years

Today marks the 5th anniversary of Dawson’s passing from this earth. I still think of my son often. There are many times that something comes up and I think “Dawson would like that.”

I smile at his memory and miss him. I am far from alone in my feelings. His mom, his birth father, his sister. Jen and his grandparents. His many friends and members of his Fairemly. And his wife Meaghan.

All of us deeply miss his simile, his humor, and his physical presence with us.

To me, he was and always shall be my oldest son. But he also was a fellow gamer, a co-worker, and my friend.

My greatest hope was he would be able to get his seizures under control. And then I always to teach him the basics of driving so he could eventually get his drivers licence. It would have been a highlight of my life.

Although Dawson’s life on this earth was short. It was meaningful in the way he toucheed all of our lives.

He was a good example to follow. In his kindness, his generosity, and his love and forgiveness.

So on this day, have a Macallan in honor of Dawson. If you don’t drink, that is fine, just toast him with your beverage of choice. He’ll understand.

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A decade ago

10 years ago my mom passed away. She lost her year and a half battle against cancer. But as it says in 2nd Timothy, she fought the good fight, she finished the race, and she kept the faith.

She is dearly missed on this earth and still very much loved by friends and family alike.

Rest in Peace mom. I love you.

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Rest in Peace Dad

Yesterday was my 50th birthday. I was going to write a post reflecting on my half-century life. But I got a phone call yesterday morning telling me that my 83 year old dad had passed away.

My parents were divorced from one another by the time I was 2 years old. I never had much interaction with my dad while I was growing up. And a number of family members were always speaking ill of him. For a long time I believed those stories.

Somewhere along the line I learned that I actually looked like my dad the older I got. I thought that was interesting but never did much about it. Genetics after all will always play a part in your life.

When my grandfather passed away, my dad didn’t come to the funeral. I was upset by that and thought it was rather rude. At the time I didn’t know there was an unhealed rift between father and son which caused my dad to stay away from that family gathering.

Many years later, his older brother died suddenly and without any warning. I felt a call to reach out to my dad and heal that rift. Much like my own son did with his birth father. So I did reach out. I thought I had nothing to lose, if he didn’t want to talk to me then I wouldn’t have lost anything except a bit of time and a stamp.

My dad rejoiced at the re-connection of his youngest child. I learned a great number of things that I didn’t know about my family and my dad as well. It made sense out of a good number of events in life. I learned that I had a lot in common with my dad. It was a wonderful re-connection. One that I should have done a lot sooner but hindsight is always 20/20.

The last few years of being reconnected with my dad have been the best years of my life. I will treasure every moment I’ve spent with him and writing back and forth between those visits. I will also continue to reach out to his widow, Kathy, she is a sweetheart and one of the best things to have ever happened to my dad.

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Doves Cry

The news of Prince’s death has hit the music industry hard. He was a talented musician and his death at just 57 years of age is a tragic event. But to quote my favorite band … he’s nobody’s hero.

But to dominate the main news channels and sites with constant updates of his passing is the real tragedy in this story. It shows just how far we have fallen as a society and culture. There are far more pressing news items that need to be front and center. We are, after all, in the process of choosing the next leader of the free world.

I enjoy a wide range of music. Prince is just a small fraction of my musical library. When I learned of his death yesterday afternoon. I played snippets from a few of his classics. Purple Rain, 1999, When Doves Cry, and Raspberry Beret. He is and will be missed in the musical world. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family. And I move on to more important issues.

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One year on

It’s been a year now since God decided He needed a red-headed step child more than me. I can remember it just as clearly as I can remember yesterday. Chatting with Dawson at work about his future at Mediacom. What department to move into next. He had just moved from Customer Service up to Tier1 and was looking forward to his next advancement from there. Looking out for his wife Meaghan to make their lives better. I reflect on how he was raised right by all his parents. A little of each of us in him, the best of the best.

I’m sure by this time he would have moved on to join the fledgling HFC NOC department and would be working with me there. It would be really cool.

I watch his Facebook page and see a continuing stream and outpouring of love towards him from his friends and family. His sudden passing is still felt by us all.

During the summer at the Des Moines Renaissance Faire a red maple was planted as a lasting memorial to Dawson with a dedication service as well. It was a beautiful gathering of his “fairemly”.

His sudden passing on February 3rd of 2013 has impacted me deeply. I really havent blogged much since his death, it came as such a shock to me that I am at a loss of words.

We can all learn from Dawson. He was always happy. He was alway forgiving. He always smiled. So here we all stand a year since he left us for other things. What have you learned from Dawson? Who have you forgiven? Are you happy and smiling just because you can?

I have. I have had trouble forgiving one person for many years, in fact for most of my years. So I have finally forgiven him and reached out to him in love. Much the same way Dawson did. It is with my birth father. I learned that from the example of my son.

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Happy Birthday Susie

I would love to be able to say those words to you. But for now, I must wait in this life until I can say them to you again. I’ve tried to write this a couple of times now, getting my thoughts and emotions in order. But I really can’t on this one. I love you Susie. I wish you were physically here, what a different life we would all have right now if that was the case. Thank you again for being my friend and much more even though it was cut short with your passing. I still love you and always will. You are never far from my thoughts and always in my heart. And when I need to hear your voice, I just play that voicemail message you left for me. It makes me smile to hear it. Happy 47th Birthday and I blow a kiss towards Heaven for you.

 

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Happy Birthday Mommers

Today would be my mom’s 69th birthday. She lost her battle against lung cancer in 2007. I could say a lot about my mom that could take up many pages of text. She was a woman of faith. And it was that faith that enabled her to raise 3 kids on her own. It was that faith that sustained her during her battle with cancer.

My mom was generally always happy. She had a great sense of humor too. Sometimes it was a bit warped, much like my own. Always available to talk to when you needed someone. I wish I could have had her council when I was going through my times of troubles in 2008 and 2009 especially. And even now I would like to still have her here with me.

I miss my mom. I know now she is without pain and in the precence of God and His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. She is in glory and paradise but I still would very much like to see her and hear her voice. Although that one I can do from time to time. I have a recording of her that I play every so often and smile when I hear it.

So I just want the world to know. Today is my mom’s 69th birthday. For all those people who knew my mom. Please take a moment of your time today and think of her. For those that didn’t know my mom. Please also take a moment of your time today and think of her children, her friends and family. Wish us all well as we struggle through this day in memory.

I love you Mommers. Happy Birthday.

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