Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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The recent sentencing of former Stanford swimmer and all around scumbag Brock Turner has outraged many, confused others, and generally made people shake their heads. (For more information on the case, feel free to check out my previous blog post on the subject. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog already in progress.)

On the Left, Turner’s sentence, which was lighter than an albino at a Salon management meeting, was proof of “rape culture.” What is rape culture? I’m glad you asked!

rape culture

What the Left believes it means: a society that tolerates or encourages men to rape women

What it really means: a catch-all excuse where men are sexual deviants and women are divine, perfect creatures

If you are a woman, you are in extreme danger. You are living in a culture where 1 out of 5 college age women are raped…no, make it 1 out of 4…no, make it 1 out of 3…wait, what week is it?

Listening to the Left talking about rape culture is like listening to Joe Biden after a few NyQuil margaritas: you don’t know what is going to be said, but you know it’s bound to be entertaining, yet completely dumb. The concept of rape culture revolves around the idea women, who are powerful and able to make decisions for themselves, are completely inept when it comes to preventing rape. No, it’s up to men to stop rapes!

This is one reason I don’t turn on my Irony Meter when writing these pieces. Those things are pretty expensive to replace.

Maybe the Left didn’t get the memo, or maybe they’re just overlooking reality to create a narrative. Of the two, I’m betting on the latter. I know. I’m just as shocked as you are thinking the Left would willingly ignore reality just to advance a lie, but it’s true.

And in other news, water is wet, fire is hot, and Justin Bieber is annoying.

Seriously, though, it’s easy to be convinced of a rape culture when the people who claim it’s there bring up statistics like the 1 in 5 I referenced earlier. But once you dig into the numbers themselves, you find the statistics are based on different definitions of what rape is. Some even include sexual intercourse when one or more of the partners are drunk.

In other words, if you had sex with Ted Kennedy, some researchers think you’ve been raped.

Putting aside the statistics, there is another really great way to figure out whether we have a rape culture. It’s called “Opening Your Eyes.” Unless I’m missing something, rape is still seen as a bad thing in America, and it’s a pretty widespread notion. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions to the rule, but by comparison, the good guy to bad guy ratio is still pretty heavily weighted in favor of the good guys.

Of course, we’re not focusing on men acting civilized because it’s to be expected. Wait a second…if men acting civilized is the norm, how is that a  rape culture? Wouldn’t a rape culture be, you know, more rapey?

Why, yes. Yes it would.

The fact our society still doesn’t condone rape by and large is proof of a lack of rape culture, not proof of the existence of one. So, technically, we have a non-rape culture. Or a rape-is-bad culture. Or a Leftists-couldn’t-find-culture-in-a-full-yogurt-container culture.

Regardless of what you call the rape-deficient rape culture, the point is the idea is sexist on its face. Not only do you have to believe the worst about men, but you have to believe ideas that would be considered misogynistic and wrong if a man said them. But since it’s the Left, and feminists in particular, expressing them…they’re still misogynistic and wrong.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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Memorial Day is almost upon us, and with it we are encouraged to remember those who have given their lives to preserve the freedoms we far too often take for granted. These folks are heroes to most people.

People…except for Leftists.

In fact, Leftists have a completely different viewpoint on what constitutes a hero, which makes for a perfect entry in the Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week.

hero

What the Left believes it means: a person who fights injustice, intolerance, and other societal problems

What it really means: a person worthy of respect

When it comes to Leftist heroes, the bar is set lower than a snake’s appendix scar. Whether it’s someone well-known as Ted “I Let a Woman Die in My Car and All I Got Was a Lousy Senate Seat” Kennedy or someone like a leader for Black Lives Matter, the Left seems to hand out hero labels like they hand out participation trophies.

Yet, they’re reticent to recognize people who have actually done something to warrant the label. Police officers? Nope! They’re part of the controlling power structure! Some Internet hack who focused on portrayal of women in video games? Totes heroic! And why? She received unconfirmed death threats! That’s completely more heroic than men and women who risk their lives on a daily basis to protect us and receive actual death threats!

If this seems weird to you, it’s not just you. It’s because it is weird. The Left has double standards galore, and this is just another one. What makes this one different from the other double standards is the fact you don’t actually have to do anything to earn a hero label from the Left (unless, of course, you’re to the right of Fidel Castro). With today’s communication technology, you don’t even need to leave your Mom’s basement to be considered a hero. Just write a blog, upload a video to YouTube, or send out a Tweet the Left agrees with and you’ll punch a ticket to Leftist Hero Land.

Here’s a great case in point. The Left went head over heels when Bruce Jenner said he wanted to get a sex change and be called Caitlyn. (On a side note, Kanye West may want to be very careful around the Kardashians given what happened with Bruce.) He/she was so brave for coming out and owning his new gender.

Then, he came out as a Republican. You would have thought he/she ran over someone with his/her car…oh, wait. Too soon?

Seriously, when Caitlyn Jenner identified as a Republican, the Left turned on him/her. Now, Jenner isn’t a “real transgender” because he/she didn’t adopt the Left’s mindset. And you thought the Left lionizing Robert Byrd while telling blacks they were the only ones who truly represent blacks was insane.

Granted, not every police officer, firefighter, military person, and other traditional heroes are worthy of the hero title. Just like with any group of people, the law of averages says there is bound to be a scumbag in their midst. Yet, we cannot let the bad outshine the good. If anything, it should inspire us to work harder to find and lionize those who deserve to be called heroes.

And that starts with all of you reading this piece. Set those standards you refused to compromise and find those who exceed those standards. If they are as good as you believe they are and inspire you to be better yourself, then you’ve found a hero.

And that’s what the Left doesn’t understand. You cannot slap a label on someone who hasn’t done anything and suddenly make that label a fact, no matter how much you want to believe it to be so. You may think Joe Biden is a smart man, but at the end of the day, there are still people hired to spin whatever he says to make it sound less Bidenesque.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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Since 2013 or so, there has been a new creature lurking in the darker corners of the Internet, one that doesn’t seem threatening at first, but is ultimately a menace to society. I’m speaking, of course, of Grumpy Cat.

Actually, I’m speaking of Social Justice Warriors, or SJWs for short. Since they are going to be around for a little while, I figured it might be a good idea to define the term.

Social Justice Warrior (SJW)
What the Left says it means: people committed to equality for all, especially those who have been oppressed by society

What it really means: people who should be committed, period

I first became aware of Social Justice Warriors in 2014 due to GamerGate. Without going into too much detail, GamerGate started out as a criticism of video game journalism ethics (or lack thereof) and grew into a movement where gamers of all stripes attempted to defend their source of fun.

And as we’ve seen, the Left hates fun in any form. Enter the Social Justice Warriors, who took it upon themselves to uphold ethical standards in video games. Just kidding. These buzzkills wanted to force game companies to adjust their behaviors and practices to better match the SJW mindset because sexism…or something.

Fortunately, we’ve taken care of all of the sexism in the world except for those darn video games! Good thing there aren’t any countries where women are being put to death for…oh, I don’t know…wanting to be treated like human beings. Women being stoned in the Middle East? Nothing compared to pixelated women in video games! That’s where the real oppression lies!

For the SJWs reading this, that was sarcasm.

At the root of the SJW movement is the concept of social justice. To the SJWs, social justice can only occur when the current social, political, cultural, and power structures are torn down and replaced with social, political, cultural, and power structures of their preference. Of course, they don’t typically go into detail into what those structures look like, but I’m sure they’ll let us know just as soon as they’ve taken care of the whole women in video games thing.

This is where things get muddier than Pig Pen taking a dip in the Mississippi River. Without letting us know why the current structures are horrible and what they propose to replace them, SJWs can’t really compete in the free marketplace of ideas. So, they do what any good Leftists in their shoes do.

They retreat to Tumblr and create echo chambers…I mean safe spaces where everyone is brilliant and moral and right, and anyone who disagrees with them is a racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, cisgendered doodiehead. Or whatever the Insult of the Month is on Tumblr.

Here’s the thing, though. SJWs aren’t interested in justice, social or otherwise. What they want and have gotten in a lot of cases is power and control. Just look at the situation with Target right now. Women and girls can’t take a gun into the store, but they can be exposed to men who self-identify as women in restrooms. And what’s happened? Target’s first quarter earnings have tanked worse than Mike Dukakis.

And it’s all because they’ve surrendered to SJWs. Congratulations, Target. Oh, by the way, K-Mart called. They want to know when you’re moving in to their condo in Failureville.

Target isn’t the first company to kowtow to SJWs, and they won’t be the last. Here’s the thing, though. SJWs only have the power you give them. If you are afraid of being called a sexist, you’re going to cave in. A lot. And, spoiler alert, it will never be enough. They will always demand more from you under threat of being called a bad name.

Really? You’re that scared of being called a name by a bunch of people with less power than a 2 watt light bulb? They’re like a chihuahua with a megaphone. They’re loud and will get a lot of attention, but they’re not much to handle. Oh, and they’re shrill and annoying, but I’m thinking you got that part already.

As GamerGate showed us, SJWs really hate it when you challenge them and don’t really care what you’re called. As it went on, public opinion solidified behind those who called out the SJWs, and they won because they had better ideas and better means to communicate them. Of course, it didn’t hurt that SJWs were as popular as VD in a brothel. That has changed, though.

Now, VD is more popular than SJWs and much less painful to deal with.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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About a month ago, the University of Massachusetts hosted gay libertarian Milo Yiannopoulous, feminist scholar Christina Hoff Sommers, and conservative comedian Steven Crowder in an event called “The Triggering.” And trigger they did. Campus Leftists felt the need to not only attend the event, but to do everything in their power to try to disrupt it.

To put it mildly, it didn’t go well for the campus Leftists, but it made an unintentional YouTube star out of one of the participants, Cora Segal.

Or as she’s better known, Trigglypuff. (A word of warning. There are parts of her outburst that are not safe for work…or for rational human beings, for that matter.)

During Ms. Puff’s…I mean, Ms. Segal’s rantings, she mentioned two concepts that I felt would make great additions to the Leftist Lexicon Words of the Week.

free speech

What Leftists say it means: the freedom to say what you want when you want
What it really means: the freedom to say what you want, but the intelligence to know when to shut up

hate speech

What Leftists say it means: speech that is hateful and should not be protected as free speech
What it really means: any speech the Left can’t handle

Ah, nothing like college kids thinking they understand the nuances of freedom of speech to teach us about how things should be. I know I feel better about the future when I think of people like Ms. Puff…I mean Ms. Segal.

Yeah, and I’m President of the Bernie Sanders Fan Club.

Here’s a pro tip for Trigglypuff: a difference of opinion isn’t hate speech in and of itself. I’m sure they didn’t teach that in your Multicultural Albino Feminist Tap-Dancing Midget Postmodern Poetry and Basket Weaving class, but it’s true. In fact, there is no fixed legal meaning of hate speech which means it could be literally anything. Including…oh, I don’t know…making an ass of yourself at a public forum by lying about a gay man and a feminist woman. In fact, that could easily be a…hate crime!

Of course, I wouldn’t be the one to press charges because I happen to believe in free speech beyond the confines of the First Amendment. Yes, Ms. Segal, I want you to speak your mind for two reasons. First, it creates a healthy environment for all parties who want to say something to do so. Second, it creates a healthy environment for me to mock you mercilessly.

That’s right, Trigglypuff. Free speech includes mocking people who richly deserve it, and you, my dear, have earned every bit of derision you have earned. Of course, you’ll call this mockery hate speech because it hurts your feelings. That’s nice. Now, care to engage in some real intellectual discourse? No? Didn’t think so.

By trying to paint free speech as hate speech, Leftists try to silence anyone who disagree with them. When that doesn’t work, they resort to the kind of antics we saw at the University of Massachusetts: disrupting the actual speakers. Although you have every right to do that, you look like an ass doing it. That’s the thing about free speech; you’re not guaranteed an audience, and you might just wind up being the Jim Fixx of running gags.

You know, like you are now.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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Yeah, I know it’s a little earlier than usual, but I figured I would write this one for all the mothers out there. So, Happy Mothers Day.

And, no, I didn’t save the receipt, so you can’t return it.

This Kentucky Derby was this past Saturday, and along with the big hats and mint julips there was People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals alleging animal cruelty against race horses. It seems any time animals are in the news, PETA and other animal rights activists aren’t too far behind. So, what better time than now to discuss this week’s words?

animal rights

What the Left says it means: treating animals as equals to human beings

What it really means: putting the “crazy” in “crazy cat lady”

PETA and other animal rights activists come from a good place. They want to protect animals from being mistreated, and it’s not a bad goal. And if you’re expecting a but here, you’re right.

The problem is these folks have a very liberal definition of mistreatment, both figuratively and literally. If you eat meat, PETA says you’re mistreating animals. That may be, but it’s delicious mistreatment, especially if it’s a medium rare steak with a side of bacon. Mmmmmm…

Where was I again? Oh, yeah, animal rights.

To put it mildly, the animal rights movement is on the extreme edge of the Leftist Utopia (Leftist Utopia void in anywhere that understands basic economics). Although their numbers are smaller than Verne Troyer starring in a remake of “Fantastic Voyage”, their influence is much wider due in no small part to their pals in the media. Whether it’s the Kentucky Derby or the circus coming to town, the animal rights movement will make itself known, and when they show up, the cameras aren’t that far behind.

But here’s the thing. A car wreck doesn’t require you to crane your neck at the carnage. Just because a few people hold up signs decrying meat as murder, fur as murder, and basically anything that gives people even an iota of pleasure as murder, it doesn’t mean we have to pay attention. Sure, it’s a freak show that would make Tod Browning flinch, but it really isn’t that fulfilling. Think of it as a Twinkie with a liberal arts degree.

At the heart of the animal rights movement is the idea animals are worthy of being elevated to being mini-humans with fur. (Wouldn’t that mean PETA should be against animals? I mean, they are wearing fur.) I get it. There are animals who make better people than some of the actual people walking mostly upright. I’m looking right at you, Kardashian family!

Now, here’s the problem. Animals aren’t humans. They lack certain cognitive functions essential to being human. Ever see a porcupine try to hug it out with anyone? Nope, and that’s for two reasons. One, animals lack empathy, and two, the quills are a bit of a deal breaker for hugs. And along with empathy, animals are missing a few other higher brain functions that would make them closer to humans than they are now. Then again, it might just qualify them for Congress.

Animal rights activists see themselves as the voice of animals, which would be unnecessary if animals had the intellectual capacity the animal rights movement thinks they do. Maybe they’re bucking for job security after the liberal arts degree didn’t qualify them for a job other than…oh, I don’t know…animal rights activist.

And here’s the kicker. Human beings are animals. Biology 101, kids. We are mammals with higher brain functions that make us unique in the animal kingdom. We can reason, feel, express ourselves in any number of forms, and all sorts of other things you won’t find very often in the animal kingdom. Or in the animal rights movement, apparently.

Although the animal rights movement may think they’re motivated by love of animals, they’re motivated by something else: control. Like all Leftists, the animal rights movement wants to remake the world in their image, and that means you will have to do what they say or else you’re scum. That means you have to give up your free will, something else humans have that animals don’t. And, as much as I love animals, I’m just not willing to hand it over and start eating tofu. For one, tofu by itself isn’t that good, and for another, forcing me to abide by someone else’s will might be a bit…unethical.

If you won’t want to eat meat because you think it hurts animals, fine. I’ll be more than happy to pick up your slack. Just let me do it. That’s all I ask. I won’t harangue you for your lifestyle, and we can part as friends.

After all, if I eat more meat, that frees up more salad for you! It’s a win-win!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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This past weekend was the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, or as it’s commonly called “Nerd Prom.” Typically, these kinds of events are as boring as a golf announcer doing commentary on paint drying, but this year’s event was newsworthy if only because the host, Larry Wilmore, called President Obama his…well, n-word.

Most people called Wilmore out on his use of the word as racist and disrespectful (that, and the fact he was as funny as Al Gore doing stand-up), but some on the Left defended him, saying it was okay because both Wilmore and Obama are black.

While we set this aside to let the irony/hypocrisy marinate, let’s look into the appropriate Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week.

racism

What the Left says it means: a major problem permeating every aspect of life

What it really means: the ultimate “Get Out of Responsibility Free” card

It seems you can’t throw a rock in Leftist Land without hitting a racist institution, like universities and the media. Wait…don’t Leftists control those areas? Wouldn’t that mean…naaaaaaah!

To hear the Left talk, race relations are at an all-time boiling point, and it’s all because of racism. But if you’ve been paying attention, you see the Left’s narrative is full of more holes than a semi truck full of Swiss cheese caught in the middle of a gang war in Iraq. Are there racists out there? Absolutely. Are they as widespread as we’re lead to believe?

Nope.

Take a look around. If things were as bad as the Left make them out to be, shouldn’t there be more chaos and destruction? Wouldn’t Beverly Hills look more like Detroit on any day ending in “day”? Shouldn’t there be more animosity between the races than the Hatfields and McCoys on PCP? If this is the racist tinderbox that is igniting fires across this country, I’d say we wouldn’t have enough fire to roast a mini marshmallow.

That’s the dirty little secret the Left doesn’t want you to know. The races in this country get along pretty well by and large. Once you realize that, you see the real problem isn’t racism; it’s assholism. It’s people doing reprehensible things and using racism as justification regardless of whether race is even a factor. Assholism knows no color. See Ferguson, Missouri, for proof of that.

Remember how the Left said the TEA Party was nothing but angry white people? Yeah, they completely ignored black TEA Party members, including Representative Mia Love of Utah. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t that be actual racism? Why, yes…yes it is!

But the Left doesn’t care about that actual racism. They would rather focus on the number of black characters on TV shows and in movies or the lack of black Oscar nominees because Hollywood is racist! (See my question above regarding who controls Hollywood because I believe in recycling.)

And guess what? They’re heavily invested in who can use the n-word.

So, why is the Left pushing a false narrative? There is money and power to be had in keeping the illusion alive. The longer we believe race relations are worse than Larry Wilmore’s hosting, the more the Left can take from from all races. At the end of the day, the only colors the Left doesn’t discriminate against are green and gold.

Now, imagine what would happen if we woke up tomorrow and actually got along. The Left would be more confused than Joe Biden trying to find a corner in the Oval Office. But America would be much better for it.

As it would if Larry Wilmore lost his invitation for future Nerd Proms.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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This week’s journey into the Leftist lexicon brings us to a rather loaded word being used incorrectly. And if there’s anything that’s rife with comedy gold, it’s misused words.

rigged

What the Left says it means: a term used to describe an unfair system that favors the rich and powerful

What it really means: The Left doesn’t understand how stuff works.

One of the biggest complaints coming from the Left is that we have a “rigged economy.” Yes, those evil rich people like Al Gore, Bill Gates, and Hillary Clinton are somehow gaming the system and getting rich off the backs of the poor. Well, when you really think about it…

The Left isn’t exactly known for its financial acumen. What they are known for is spending a lot of money on pet projects like Solyndra, Planned Parenthood, and National Endowment for the Arts grants for self-described artists to shove sweet potatoes up their…noses. (Well, not noses, but this is a family blog.)

Is the economy rigged? Yes, but only if you consider being smart enough to understand the law of supply and demand to be unfair. And knowing the Left, they do. (Would it be inappropriate to remind you all these are the same people who claim to be better educated than us? Naaaaaaaaaaah!)

The fact is the economy isn’t rigged. Everybody has the same chance to succeed or fail with a business venture, but you have to work for it. That’s where the Left gets off the success train. They feel anyone who is successful does so through deceit and oppression of the poor and middle class. They see the economy as a half-empty glass instead of realizing the glass can be refilled as often as needed.

Of course, they might understand that if they spent more time busing tables than spending hours working on their Albino Midget Lesbian Basket Weaving thesis.

I’m a bit of a skeptic at heart, so when I hear anyone complaining of a rigged system my first instinct is to look at the facts. More often than not, the people screaming about something being rigged lack even a basic understanding of how it works. But in cases like that, the desire to believe the worst is stronger than the facts. Think of it like trying to get a piece of candy away from a child. Only the candy is a false premise, and the child is a Leftist, but I repeat myself with the latter point.

Seriously, it’s important to know the facts before buying into a statement about a rigged economy, rigged election, rigged anything. A false allegation can lead to undercutting a legitimate concept or construct. Once tarnished, it gets harder for that concept or construct to be taken seriously.

Much like Joe Biden.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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Leftists love to play with language, as we’ve seen. This week’s word is one that you think you know, but the Left has managed to find new ways to pervert…I mean use it.

justice

What the Left says it means: making things equal for everyone

What it really means: spreading Leftist misery around

The Left seems to really love justice. They talk about it in all of its various forms: social justice, economic justice, racial justice. And to hear them talk (a fate I wouldn’t wish on anybody), justice is all about righting past wrongs and putting everyone on the same level playing field. Who could be against that?

Hi, my name is Thomas, and I am against that because the Left isn’t about making things equal as they are about redistributing wealth and power from those who have it to those who don’t. Hmmm…that reminds me of something…it’s on the tip of my tongue…it’s coming to me…oh, yeah! It’s socialism!

At the heart of the Left’s concept of justice is victimhood. They believe if someone is successful, it’s at the expense of someone less fortunate. In economics, it’s called a zero-sum game. When dealing with people, though, the zero-sum approach is as successful as David Duke doing stand-up comedy at the Apollo. There is enough success to go around, but it’s not bestowed upon you. You do have to work for it.

Ah, but work is a four-letter word to the Left. (Except for Joe Biden, who thinks it’s a three-letter word like “jobs.”) In their mind, people are entitled to the work of others under the auspices of fairness. After all, it’s not fair you worked hard, risked a lot, and made sacrifices to get where you are. You need to give up your gains to those who lack your work ethic, courage, and fortitude!

That’s where justice comes in. By invoking past injustices (real or invented), the Left can lay claim to whatever they want in the name of justice. Want more black history classes at your college? Claim it’s necessary for racial justice. Need to have more lesbian albino martial arts poetry slams? Claim it’s necessary for social justice. Don’t want to pay for college? Claim others have to pay to bring about economic justice.

Now, I understand how the Left can obtain economic justice, but how do you balance the scales of social and racial justice? Economic justice is tangible in that you can crunch numbers and divvy up assets. Social justice and racial justice are more ethereal. How would you get justice in either case? Throw a few straight white men in jail? Have police officers shoot innocent white people? Bring back the stocks?

Author’s Note: To any Leftists reading this piece, these are not actual suggestions.

The great irony of the Left’s version of justice is how unjust it ultimately is. In each and every form of justice they invent, it involves punishing people who are guilty of nothing more than being successful, different, or of a different social status. In short, the Left wants to punish people for being different, while at the same time telling us we need to accept the differences in others or else we’re racist/homophobic/bigoted/transphobic/small-minded/Republican/conservative/whackjob/hateful/poopyheads.

And, yes, I’ve been called all of those and then some. And some of those by people who actually know me!

There is a fine line between justice and vengeance. What the Left calls justice does a flamenco dance on that line to the point there is no difference between the terms. For us to combat it, we must take action.

That’s right, folks. We need to learn how to salsa dance.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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This week’s jaunt into the Leftist mindset takes us to the land of Bernie Sanders. (I would have preferred the land of Dairy Queen, but the plane was booked.) Although the race for the Presidency on the Republican side has had more explosives than a fire at a Missouri fireworks stand, the race on the other side of the aisle has been pretty sedate. Granted, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders make the Golden Girls look like college coeds on spring break, but Sanders has tapped into the youth vote thanks to a concept called democratic socialism. So, let’s dive into this weeks Leftist Lexicon Word(s) of the Week…

democratic socialism

What the Left says it means: people pitching in to help each other and care for each other

What it really means: There are a lot of people who didn’t get the memo about socialism.

Democratic socialism is an example of how the Left manipulates perception through creative wording. By starting off with a positive idea (democratic), the Left tries to get people to ignore the negative connotations of the other half of the phrase (socialism). It’s like someone offering you a deluxe dog crap sandwich. Sure, it’s deluxe, but you’re still eating dog crap.

Which brings us back to socialism.

No matter how you try to dress it up, democratic socialism is still socialism, and it’s still an epic fail when tried on a large scale. In small groups, it’s easier for people to get on the same page, but the larger the group gets, the harder it gets to keep everyone singing “Kumbaya”. Eventually human nature kicks in. If you’re busting your hump working in the field all day and you’re getting the same as Skeeter, the lovable yet incompetent methhead whose contribution to society is as negligible as the bibliography of a Jackie Collins novel, you’re going to get mad sooner or later and want to be better compensated for your efforts. And there ain’t enough verses of Kumbaya in the world that can change that. You can draw up as many scenarios, flow charts, and contingency plans as you want, but human nature trumps central planning every time because we cannot turn off what we are.

It’s also the reason we aren’t a democracy. Imagine the chaos, fist fights, and general mayhem that goes on during Black Friday sales. Now, multiply it by, oh, a couple billion. That’s what America would be like under a democracy, and there isn’t even a cheap TV set or a BluRay player awaiting the winner of the scrum. We might be able to agree on a few things nationally (like keeping incest illegal), but we might have trouble with some bigger items (like abortion). And imagine the chaos that would arise with enforcing laws with the whim of the majority. One day you could be within the law eating beef jerky, and the next you could be thrown in jail where beef jerky takes on a whole new meaning…

Of course, there is an easier way to accomplish what the Left promises will happen if we enact democratic socialism. It’s called being a human being. It doesn’t cost anything, and it won’t tank the economy. Plus, we get to keep the cheap TVs and BluRay players we got during Black Friday sales!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

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Did you hear about the white student at San Francisco State University who was verbally and physically assaulted by a black student? If you didn’t, well, now you have.

Now, what could have caused the black student to attack the white student? Did the white student say something racially insensitive? Was the white student protesting against Black Lives Matter? Was the white student nonchalant about Colin Kapernick getting traded? Nope! It was because that evil racist scum of the earth white guy dared, I repeat dared…to wear dreadlocks.

For most people, a white man in dreadlocks is no big deal, but to the black student it was cultural appropriation. Which brings us to the Leftist Lexicon Word(s) of the Week…

cultural appropriation

What the Left says it means: taking concepts and artifacts from other cultures without permission

What it really means: promoting diversity though segregation

America used to be a melting pot where people from around the world could come and celebrate their cultures and appreciate our freedom simultaneously. Today…well, the only thing melting is the collective brain power of America as we try to make our way through the minefield of modern political correctness while wearing clown shoes. Step the wrong way and you don’t get blown up, although your Twitter feed might with people telling you how horrible you are. (This is one reason I don’t use Twitter. If I wanted people telling me how horrible I am, I’d go back to college and tell the students to stop being wussies.)

Granted, there is some legitimate grounds for people to get upset about cultural appropriation. White frat boys having a Cinco de Mayo party complete with caricatures of Mexican men with sombreros taking a nap is a jerk move, to put it mildly. But celebrating Cinco de Mayo in and of itself would not be a legitimate form of cultural appropriation because a) it’s not trying to take anything from the Mexican/Hispanic culture as much as it is trying to get really drunk, and b) Cinco de Mayo isn’t even celebrated in Mexico.

Now, here’s the fun part. The people who are the most upset about cultural appropriation are just as “guilty” as the ones they accuse. Wearing Nikes? Appropriation of Greek culture. Need a Starbucks to get your day started? Another appropriation of Greek culture, and an expensive one at that! Driving a Prius? It’s a Honda, so it’s appropriation of Japanese culture! Even going to college is a cultural appropriation, and no matter how many gay albino midget amputee art cultural studies classes you take will square that circle. If anything, it might make it worse and it will guarantee you will be working at a Starbucks right out of college.

As with most things in the world, we should use our heads and hearts when it comes to celebrating the diversity we have in America. If it doesn’t feel right or if you have to make a ton of excuses and/or justifications to try to get out of trouble, it probably isn’t a good idea. It’s completely possible to be respectful and have a good time. Just put yourselves in the shoes of your guests. Not literally, of course…unless they have some really cool shoes in your size and it’s your house, then go nuts.

Anything we say or do has the potential to offend, but we should all try to be adults instead of the self-absorbed preschoolers in grown up bodies that get offended by a hairstyle someone else is wearing. For all we know, the person wearing dreadlocks might not be trying to appropriate someone’s culture, but rather appropriate some pot or munchies because he smoked pot. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Unless, of course, it’s anything by Stephenie Meyer.