Our Brother-In-Law

This is your annual reminder the war between Russia and Ukraine is still going on and we still don’t have any idea of what the fuck we’re doing in it yet. I mean, aside from giving billions of American tax dollars to a cause that’s ill-defined outside of “Putin Bad” and has no clear end date in sight.

Oh, and did I mention we’re backing the losing side?

Actually, that’s a bit premature. They haven’t lost yet, so there’s always a chance Ukraine can turn things around…provided, of course, we send more money and arms.

It was at this point I came to a realization: Ukraine is like the stereotypical lazy brother-in-law. They don’t do much, spend what little money they have on shit they don’t need, and always come around when they need just a few bucks to get them through until they can get on their feet. And, because they’re related by marriage, we tend to relent in order to keep the peace within the family.

That doesn’t work so well when an entire country is the brother-in-law and we’re strapped for cash ourselves. Regardless of what Leftist squawking head tells you, the economy isn’t so rosy. Inflation continues to rise (although at a much lower rate than the previous 2 years, so yay, I guess?), and Puddin’ Head Joe keeps finding ways to make the US Dollar worth less than the acknowledgements section of a narcissist’s autobiography.

Like, oh I don’t know…giving billions to a foreign country without asking for any of it back?

Of course, the Leftist warmongers will mention Ukraine is fighting for freedom and we should support it or we’re Russian assets. Which is why so many of these same warmongers are trying to tie aid to Israel to aid to Ukraine because…freedom, I guess?

Actually, the two are not connected in any way. And if you’ve been following the events in Ukraine prior to the war with Russia, you can see why, but for those who haven’t let’s just say Ukraine has…a bit of a neo-Nazi problem. Which means we have a bit of a neo-Nazi problem because we’re funding them in the name of freedom, all the while telling us neo-Nazis are all over the US and evil, nasty people who can’t be reasoned with.

You know, just like Antifa!

This contradiction doesn’t seem to bother the Left that much, but it bothers me. We cannot hold Ukraine to a different standard than we hold our own citizens, even if we don’t like the implications. This is the kind of idiocy that got both Iran and Iraq hating our guts in the early 80s when they were having their own war. We tried playing both sides at different points and we got fucked as a result.

Now, we’re repeating the same mistake. After trying to be buddy-buddy with Russia as far back as the Obama Administration (remember Hillary Clinton’s “Reset” button?), we’re now blaming them for everything from inflation to supply line issues to the fact Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelce. And when you consider Russia and China are getting along like the aforementioned Swift and Kelce, that doesn’t bode well for us.

But freedom…I guess?

So, it looks like we’re going to be letting Ukraine sleep on our couch for the foreseeable future. But I’m sure they’ll find a job…I mean win the war with Russia soon. They just need a few billion to tide them over until they win…

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

With almost every election in the past 25 years or so, there have been accusations of one side or the other trying to get an unfair advantage though what is loosely called “election interference.” This can take on many forms, but the Left seems to be particularly concerned with election interference this year.

Maybe it has something to do with their Presidential candidate being only slightly more coherent than a piece of burnt toast…naaaaaah. If we’ve learned anything from Leftists, it’s that they’re honest brokers truly looking out for the best interests of their ideological cult…I mean country. Regardless, we have a tough nut to crack, so let’s get cracking.

No, Hunter, I’m not talking real crack here, buddy.

election interference

What the Left thinks it means – outside parties influencing American politics through underhanded and illegal means

What it really means – election shit Leftists do, but never get held accountable for doing

One of the bedrock principles America’s had throughout its existence is fair elections. Voters across the country would spend more time in local libraries and churches than they would the rest of the year and cast ballots for candidates they felt would do the best job in a given role. When we started electing incompetents, though, that dynamic shifted to whichever scumbag we liked more.

Anyway, this came into question in 2000 in the election between George W. Bush and Al Gore. I won’t go into a lot of detail here because I’m still going to therapy over it, but for those of you who weren’t there, the Readers Digest Condensed Version is Al Gore tried to use recounts in select Florida counties to win the state’s electoral votes and failed. This sent shockwaves throughout the political landscape. I mean, who could have imagined a thoroughly unlikable and out-of-touch former Vice President would lose?

I mean, aside from anyone who paid attention to Al Gore.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Hanging Chads, Leftists decided Bush cheated, thus he wasn’t legitimately President. This lead to conspiracy theories involving then-Florida Governor and W’s brother Jeb, Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, the US Supreme Court, and several boy bands getting their hands dirty while installing George W. Bush. Never mind the fact most, if not all, media-generated recounts repeatedly showed Bush won Florida. It was a conspiracy, dammit!

Then, before you could say “Not My President,” the election interference disappeared in 2008, even though not much in the lines of election security had changed. Hmmm…now who won the Presidency in 2008? Surely the fact the Left’s choice for President winning had no bearing on whether the Left thought election was tampered with, right? I mean that would be totally be a dick move to selectively call out election interference based on who was in office!

And it was just such a dick move they did in 2016 when Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton. The only difference between the 2000 conspiracy theories and the 2016 ones was the particular parties involved. And election security? Still not that different than it was back then.

Then, before you could say “Orange Man Bad,” election integrity wasn’t an issue in 2020…except where it was and glossed over by Leftists and turned into treason if you dared not accept one of the most fucked-up elections in history as totally legit. And now Puddin’ Head Joe is fucking everything else up and is in jeopardy of losing the White House to Trump, guess what’s coming back? That’s right, election interference!

But what does that actually look like? Depends on who you ask. To a normal person, a lot of the shit that’s been going on since 2000 has been election interference, ranging from potential threats of violence (Black Panthers outside polling places in 2008) to irregular counting procedures (counting ballots after the counting was supposed to be concluded in 2020). In other words, Leftist Election Strategy 101.

To Leftists, it’s anything Republicans and conservatives do to prevent the Left from cheating. Pass a law preventing campaign volunteers from handing out bottles of water to people in line, which could be considered electioneering? That’s election interference! Call for Voter ID laws? Election interference! In fact, I think you can count on the one hand of the world’s worst shop teacher the number of things the Left wouldn’t consider election interference.

To put it mildly, Leftists care about election interference like they care about the gay community: only when it suits their larger political ends. Otherwise, it’s issue non grata. The way you can tell? Leftists aren’t overtly spending money on election security. If they were really concerned about Russia, China, or even Nickelback affecting the 2024 election, they would be coming up with all sorts of election integrity boondoggles where Leftists could get rich..er and nothing would get done.

See what I mean?

The Left’s ideal version of election integrity is one where they’re the only ones allowed to cheat and win. But by taking this approach, they’ve ensured they can never be taken seriously on this subject by anyone who has a brain, which means anyone who isn’t a Leftist. Meanwhile, real election integrity is eroding before our eyes because few Republicans care to even touch the issue, let alone take the heat from the Left for trying to do something to restore faith in the system. If we want to see a return to the good old days where we can accept election results without all the bullshit, we have to take the heat and pack a lunch. Just avoid mayonnaise and cole slaw.

In the meantime, call out the Left’s bullshit when they bring up election integrity as an issue. Ask them what they intend to do the next time one of their preferred candidates win to ensure outside forces don’t tip the scales. And be prepared not to get an answer. Or have them call you a bigot. Or have their heads explode. You know, whatever works.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Clear your calendars, kids! The hottest new piece of literature just dropped and it’s going to be a scorcher! I’m not referring to any of the 498 books Stephen King will release this week. Instead, I’m referring to the long-awaited Durham Report.

After the initial shock of discovering Leftists had their fingerprints all over the Russian collusion allegations against former President Donald Trump, the Left has done into damage control. Some said it failed to deliver any real results, while others went so far as to say it was a flop that opened the door for future misuse. Some have gone so far as to give analysis that make the whole investigation look like one big boondoggle.

Which means the truth is far more damaging than the Left wants to admit. Oh, and that it’s this week’s Lexicon entry.

the Durham Report

What the Left thinks it means – an expensive bomb of an investigation that lead to nothing and should be called out for repeating Trump’s lies

What it really means – the report the Left wishes the Mueller Report could have been

For those who are interested in the report, here it is.

For the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version, here it is.

– Leftists within the alphabet agencies attempted to paint Donald Trump as a Russian asset in 2016 at the direction of Hillary Clinton.

– There was no evidence of Russian collusion.

– The aforementioned alphabet agencies knew it, but proceeded with an investigation anyway because Hillary.

– Leftists had actual ties with Russia during the time they were attempting to make Donald Trump look like a Russian asset.

– Leftists never thought they would get caught.

So, here we are. After 4 years and $6.5 million spent, the Left is finally worried about a partisan investigation. I mean, the Mueller investigation (which was shadier than the hygiene practices at Uncle Filthy’s Botulism Emporium and Discount Slaughterhouse) only cost $32 million! How dare Republicans spend $6.5 million!

By the way, these same dickweeds complaining about the waste of money with the Durham Report are okay with sending Ukraine $24.9 billion for a war where we’re not even one of the direct participants. Granted, that figure was from January of this year, so the current number is going to be higher than Willie Nelson hanging out with Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam on 4/20.

So, let’s cut out the bullshit about the cost and look at results. The primary result is the Durham Report exposed a real conspiracy of dunces with the sole purpose of making Donald Trump look bad. First off, he does a good job of that on his own, so the Left didn’t really need to help. Second, Hillary Clinton has a sordid (and utterly mock-worthy) history with Russia.

Now, Leftists are going to say I’m using a logical fallacy called “poisoning the well” as a means to prop up Durham after a failure of a report. That would be true…if there wasn’t so much evidence out there. And it’s information the Left doesn’t want to get out because it unravels a lot of their squawking points over the past few years.

The most obvious bullshit talking point destroyed is the alleged Russian collusion with Trump. The Left needs this point to be true because it’s the only way they can explain why Trump beat Clinton in 2016. That is, if you overlook how unpopular Hillary is. She lost to an unknown Illinois Senator in 2008, for fuck’s sake! And he was only slightly more competent than she was! Not exactly a ringing endorsement of Hillary’s popularity as a political figure.

Then, 2016 happened.

From before Donald Trump took the Oath of Office to today, the Left not only conspired to slime him in the court of public opinion, but got government agencies involved to make it happen. And even then Hillary lost. Simply put, Hillary Clinton is a political fuck-up aided by other political fuck-ups pretending to be law enforcement. Law enfarcement maybe, but not law enforcement.

Which brings us to another reason the Left has to discredit the Durham Report: it exposes just how broken the FBI has been for years. The Durham Report made a point of not only showing how fucked up the FBI’s involvement in the Russia collusion story, but also offered suggestions on how to fix the problem. Personally, I think we should nuke the site from orbit since it’s the only way to be sure, but that’s probably my inner 80s teen talking.

Once the FBI’s corruption got exposed (again), the Left loses one of the weapons in its arsenal to deal with what they consider unsavory elements. You know, like pro-lifers. In order to retain some semblance of control, the Left needs the FBI, which makes the agency look a lot less credible and will fuel even more calls to investigate just how deep the corruption goes.

I don’t see a down-side here.

Especially when the Left mocked the “Back the Blue” movement while elevating the FBI to near-godlike status. That’s how you know their love of law enforcement is utter bullshit, but it’s also a pretty big tell as to why the Left has a vested interest in protecting the FBI by denigrating the Durham Report.

You know. Poisoning the well?

The Left are also making a big deal of how few convictions came from the Durham Report as compared to the Mueller Report. Although the lack of frog-marching feds is cause for concern, it’s not really that big a deal unless you’re in the business of quantity of justice rather than quality of justice. Some of Mueller’s successes came as a result of shoddy charges and dishonest reporting. Can you say Michael Flynn, boys and girls? I knew you could.

And what’s more? The Mueller Report found no sufficient evidence of collusion with Russia, which was counter to what the Left wanted him to find. The Durham Report confirms this, which is counter to what the Left wanted him to find. Maybe it’s me, but I’m sensing a pattern…

Like the pattern of behavior the Left has when bad news hits their side. First, there’s panic as they try to figure out how to spin the bad news. Second, there’s the spin, where the bad news is turned into good news (often with a good amount of gaslighting). Third, there’s “debate” as people fact-check the Left’s spin and the Left pretends the fact-checks are inaccurate. Fourth, there’s Leftist “fact-checking” which is little more than gaslighting that would make the Hindenburg look like a sparkler. Finally, there’s the call to move on from talking about the bad news because “it’s old news.”

As of this writing, the Left has gone through at least 3 of the steps with the “fact-checking” step about to kick into high gear. Give it a week or so and the “old news” calls will be coming hard and fast.

Unfortunately, we have a lingering question that I don’t think we’re going to get a satisfactory answer to: who’s going to federal fuck-me-in-the-ass prison over this? The way the justice system works now, we’ll be lucky to get the FBI Director’s secretary’s brother’s former college roommate’s cousin’s dog walker’s accountant’s former high school basketball team’s water boy indicted, and if so, it will be for something completely unrelated, like a waaaaaaay overdue library book. The fact Lois Lerner is still on the outside instead of getting 3 hots and a cot in Leavenworth is proof of that. Reports outlining criminal behavior are all well and good, but without action, they’re just words on a page. And if you expect Leftists to join in the accountability mob, I have swamp land in the Arctic Circle I’d love to sell you. In this situation, elections have lack of consequences.

And it’s not like the Republicans have the best track record in following through, either. A big reason why is because a lot of them don’t want to rock the boat too much because then they become targets for the kind of bogus investigations we’ve seen out of the Left so far. And when their dirty laundry gets put out for the world to see, it puts a King Kong sized monkey wrench in their reelection plans. Then again, many of them are in “safe” districts and states, so even if they get caught getting baggies of heroin shoved up their asses by an Asian trans dominatrix named Madame Hung Lo their approval ratings might take a dip of 0.00000000000001% because “the other side is worse.”

As much as I can’t argue that, it doesn’t help the situation. Without a desire to stand up for what is right, our little Constitutional Republic is doing to go the way of Rome. And by that I mean an expensive tourist trap with a kitschy casino counterpart on the Las Vegas strip.

So, like Las Vegas.

Anyway, we need leaders more than ever, men and women willing to buck party lines to do what is right and just. It might take a few election cycles and some “come to Jesus” moments, but if anyone can do it, America can. The Durham Report is the first step on that journey, and we best take it while we can.

Also, it will piss off the Left, so…yay!





No One Is Above the Law…Except Us

After Donald Trump’s home at Mar-a-Lago had the FBI visit and look for alleged classified documents in his possession, the Left had a field day. Between jokes at the former President’s expense, memes recounting times when Trump made statements that now applied to him, and hoping this would finally be the thing that landed Trump in prison, Leftists were full of more hope than a Barack Obama rally.

There was also a common theme among the talking heads in the media and politics: no one is above the law. Although I’m happy to see Leftists embracing law and order for a change, let’s just say I’m not convinced they’re genuine and/or consistent in that sentiment.

Leftists being hypocrites? Heaven forbid!

Now, what I’m about to go over will likely get dismissed as “whataboutism” and there’s certainly an element of that in play. Having said that, these examples are necessary to lay out the groundwork for my argument.

For as close to an apples-to-apples comparison as I can get, we need to go back to May 2002 when former National Security Advisor Sandy Berger took classified documents out of the National Archive in his pants. (And I wish I were kidding about that last part.) After calling it an “honest mistake,” he eventually plead guilty in 2005. His punishment? Two years of probation, surrendering his law license, a loss of his security clearance for 3 years, and a promise to cooperate with investigators.

No FBI raids on his home. No wall-to-wall media coverage detailing every sorted detail of his crimes on a 25/8 continuous loop (because 24/7 isn’t enough, or because Common Core math took over telling time). Just an acknowledgement of the sentence, a hand-wave of the severity of the crime, and glowing obituaries upon the event of his passing.

Granted, Donald Trump hasn’t gone to the Great Mar-a-Lago in the Sky yet, but there is a decided difference in how the Berger and Trump document situations are being handled. Aside from a handful of balanced analyses from pundits like Alan Dershowitz and Jonathan Turley, the rule has been to assume Trump is guilty and deserves the treatment he’s gotten. Some even point to the Berger situation as precedent in the court of public opinion as a means to condemn Trump.

But there’s a bit more at play here outside of the “whataboutism.” Leftists believe in their superiority (just ask them), and try to shape the world to affirm it. When someone on the Left violates the law or acts inappropriately, it’s circle the wagons time! Only after it’s a done deal will Leftists acknowledge the actual crime, and usually as a means to dismiss it as old news.

That is if Leftists admit there was wrong-doing in the first place. Anyone remember Lois Lerner? If not, she was one of the people behind the IRS targeting political groups with connections to the TEA Party. After blaming the scandal on “low level employees,” the Department of Justice closed their investigation without Lerner being charged. Oh, sure, the DOJ report references mismanagement at all levels, but they allegedly didn’t find any laws being broken.

Unfortunately for them, there were. Lerner admitted to singling out applications for tax exempt status with the words “TEA Party” or “Patriot,” but argued those actions weren’t politically motivated. Yeah, and I’m the first Lutheran Pope. Where the legal violations come into play is when she turned over tax documents from the aforementioned groups to the DOJ.

Yeah. That’s illegal, not to mention unconstitutional. Remember, kids, Leftists say Roe v. Wade was based on a Constitutional right to privacy (that really isn’t in the Constitution, but play along with me here for a minute). That means the IRS violated the right to privacy of TEA Party groups. Oops.

But did the Leftists cheering the raid on Mar-a-Lago say much of anything about Lerner’s criminal and Constitutional missteps? Nope. They went along with the “low level employees” line, which was bullshit from the word go.

With Berger, Lerner, and any number of other Leftists (I’m looking at you, Eric Swalwell), no crime is too grave to excuse, or in most cases ignore, because they’re on the right side. And by “right side” I mean Left side. Bill and Hillary Clinton, Dianne Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi, Hunter Biden, and the whole Hee Haw Gang on the Left are a handful of examples of people who get to be above the law by virtue of being Leftists and having media Leftists (a redundancy, I know) cover for them by not covering them committing crimes.

Republicans, conservatives, and anyone else who falls outside the Leftist hivemind don’t get that treatment. If anything, they’re more heavily scrutinized to find every micron of dirt they can find to make the target of scorn look even more like Al Capone, only less honest. Speaking personally, I’m afraid opposition research will find I had an overdue library book in elementary school, which would certainly derail any hopes I had of becoming President. Or even County Supervisor of Creating Busy Work for Government Employees So They Don’t Actually Try to Do Real Work.

Why…it’s almost as if the Left’s version of law and order only goes one way!

Which, of course, to them it does. Since they are superior to us plebs, they write their own rules and excuse their own mistakes. But that’s not really justice; it’s rigging the system to one’s own benefit. Leftists will argue (without irony) this has been going on for quite some time and only through their efforts will everyone get a fair shake in the legal system. Yet, their efforts to give everyone a fair shake only reinforce the existing power structure where some people are treated better than others.

That’s called a self-own, kids.

Regardless of how you feel about Donald Trump, he was absolutely right about ideology trumping (see what I did there) justice. As more details come about about the Mar-a-Lago raid, I think we’ll see the former President proven right yet again.

And without having to lie to the FISA court, no less!