Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week SPECIAL EDITION!
Your eyes are not deceiving you. You are getting an extra Leftist Lexicon this week because, darn it, I like you.
Thanksgiving is a time for families to come together and be thankful for what we have. Oh, and to eat food, watch football, and try not to bring up politics. Oh, but the Left just has to ruin that, too. To them, Thanksgiving is a time to talk about politics (mainly, why theirs is superior) and how much white people suck. Oh, and how we should be concerned about the hungry and how dangerous and barbaric football is. You know, being total killjoys.
Well, I won’t stand for it. In fact, I’m sitting as I write this just to show you how committed I am to fighting back against the Leftist assault on Thanksgiving.
What the Left believes it means – a holiday that celebrates religious bigotry, violence against Native Americans, and patriarchy
What it really means – a holiday to remind us to be thankful for the bounty we have
The Thanksgiving story has gone through more changes than Madonna’s image, but the gist of it is the Pilgrims went through a harsh winter before meeting up with some Native Americans who helped them. To celebrate, the Pilgrims had a feast where they could count their blessings at having survived the year before. Now, to most people, this is a fine enough story, but to the Left, it’s not good enough because it didn’t have enough tofu, white guilt, and acknowledgement of the rights of the native people to live without being subjected to cultural appropriation and any number of other Leftist bugaboos they’re offended by this week.
Why, it’s almost as if the Left hates for people to be happy. Maybe it’s because…they hate for people to be happy!
As a recovering Leftist, one of the things I still can’t get my head around is why Leftists get so bothered by other people being happy. Whether they have a permanent case of schadenfreude or they are just big jerkheads, it’s not like there is a finite amount of joy in the world. It is possible for more than one person to be happy at a time, and Thanksgiving is the perfect time for people to be happy by recognizing what we have in our lives to be happy about. Family, friends, health, not being Al Franken right now…or ever, and many, many more sources of gratefulness.
I do think a big part of the Left’s problem with Thanksgiving is how steeped it is in tradition. To them, anything related to tradition is automatically conservative and, therefore, EVIL! Traditions in and of themselves aren’t necessarily evil. Getting together with family to share a meal and good times is a good tradition to have. Getting together with family to sacrifice a virgin to the Aztec gods? Not so much. As with all things, you have to put things into perspective. Just because you have a wishbone up your backside because you think Thanksgiving represents white genocide of Native Americans doesn’t mean it’s a good thing to bring up around turkey and mashed potatoes. Then again, the Left isn’t exactly known for thinking things through.
Which brings us to another relatively recent phenomenon: talking politics at Thanksgiving. Within the past few years, the Left has come up with the great idea of creating talking points to try to win over family members to the Leftist point of view. Remember Pajama Boy, the guy used to promote discussion of Obamacare over the holidays? Not only did he ruin red checkered pajamas for a generation of hipsters, but he made Leonard Hofstadler look like Chuck Norris. And what happened? Obamacare further tanked in the polls. Of course, that might be chalked up to Obamacare sucking harder than Chelsea Handler trying to get another series, but the point remains the Left thought Pajama Boy would be the poster boy for getting people to sign up for one of the worst health insurance scams since I got that policy from Uncle Shifty’s Fly-By-Night Insurance Company and Collection Agency. But at least I got to keep the pen, so win-win.
There seems to be two lines of thought behind bringing up politics during the holiday season. First, in accordance with Leftist thinking documented above, it’s to make everyone miserable. Second, and this one is just as likely, Leftists want to weed out people from their Christmas card/gift lists before Black Friday or Cyber Monday. After all, if you get most of your family miffed at you for spouting ideological drivel, you can save money or buy the family members who agree with you better presents. Well, at least better by Leftist standard. Imagine getting along with Cousin Moonbeam and getting a certificate stating a tree was planted in the Amazon rainforest in your honor. That makes Grandma’s wool socks look like a black American Express card.
But that second point has an ulterior motive: it helps break down families, which is a central tenet of communism and, surprise surprise, Leftist ideology. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, this time of year brings people together in significant ways. And when there’s togetherness, there’s booze…I mean connecting. (Although you could also connect through booze…) When people get together in the spirit of harmony, it creates strong bonds, bonds that can exist outside of political, racial, spiritual, and sexual boundaries. Now, consider the fact the Left has based its entire existence today on emphasizing our differences. Yeah, it’s a good bet the Left has a vested interest in keeping people at each other’s throats.
This is why it’s important not to lose focus of what makes Thanksgiving so special. Not only will it make the Left into angry little trolls…scratch that, it will remind them there is something stronger than their ideology that will trump them at every turn: love.
Either that or booze.