Last week, President Donald Trump announced America would recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel after decades and 3 previous Presidents promised and failed to deliver. To hear the Left’s reaction to the news, you’d think Trump set a puppy on fire on live television while doing unspeakable things to a picture of Rosie O’Donnell. Trump’s actions are going to start World War 23, cause the Middle East peace process to fall apart like Kathy Griffin’s career, and create mass death, destruction, and mayhem!
And that’s the opinion of the more sensible Leftists, all three of them.
If the Left had a Facebook relationship status with Israel, it would be “It’s Complicated.” Some would say America’s relationship to Israel is complicated, but is it? This week’s Leftist Lexicon takes us into the wonderful world of the only sane place in the Middle East.
What the Left thinks it means – a fundamentalist conservative country whose existence and actions cause strife for its neighbors and must change to stabilize the region
What it really means – a country resoundingly criticized by the Left for daring to think it deserves to exist
Without going into a long, drawn out explanation of the creation of Israel, let me try my hand at summarizing centuries of discord into an easy-to-understand manner. Once upon a time, there was a country called Israel that got broken up through various wars, invasions, and dating Yoko Ono. After being tossed from country to country, a group of Jews decided to reclaim the former country of Israel, and after some lengthy discussions and some arm-twisting from the US, they got their wish. This angered the neighbors, including a group of people claiming to be from Palestine, a country that doesn’t have any ties to the land where Israel sits today and refuses to stop being jerks to the Jews. The Left, being of big hearts and small minds, support the Palestinians because they’re the Cleveland Browns to Israel’s New England Patriots. Actually, I take that back. The Palestinians have a better running game.
Based upon this, you might think the Left hates Israel, and you’d be right to an extent. They do hate Israel, but they love the money coming from Jewish Leftists to pay lip service to Israel while at the same time working to support those who want to wipe Israel off the map. So, it’s a love/hate relationship in a way, only with more use of military force.
There is another possible reason the Left hates Israel; the Right loves Israel. Whether it’s for religious reasons or because they love the way Israel handles terrorism (Spoiler Alert: Israel makes Chuck Norris look like Lindsey Graham), the Right has Israel’s back. And when you really think about it, the Left hates people of faith (especially those of us who believe in God) and those who treat terrorists like terrorists instead of delicate flowers who were just misunderstood and need jobs. I wish I were kidding, but the Obama Administration actually advanced the idea there would be less terrorism if potential terrorists had jobs. Maybe, but I’m guessing there would be a lot of people calling in sick on a regular basis.
In spite of our history with Israel, we have a vested interest in being on their good side, and not just because of their badassery. They give us a strategic foothold in the Middle East, so our relationship needs to be as good as it can be as a means of protecting us from Muslim extremists. By the same token, Israel needs to be on our good side because we provide them with the technology and firepower needed to fend off those who want them to go the way of Pauly Shore’s Oscar hopes. This viewpoint makes our relationship with Israel feel more like a big brother-little brother dynamic. Sure, our little brothers may annoy us and get in trouble, but when push come to shove we have their backs.
While there are a lot more Leftist Jews than conservative Jews, the latter group is finding its voice and defending Israel while the former group keeps electing people like Chuck Schumer, who is as two-faced as they come when it comes to Israel. Which side ultimately prevails is still up in the air, but for the sake of both of our countries, we should be rooting for the side that supports Israel, not as a potential source of campaign cash or voters, but as a homeland worth protecting.