As someone who has been online since 1996, I can tell you the Internet is a weird place, and it keeps getting weirder. Whether that’s because of me, I can’t say…
Online political discussions have their own lexicon, much of which involves disparaging the other side. Thanks to the allegation of Russian interference with the 2016 election and how it’s alleged they did it, we have two new terms to consider: bot, and Russian bot. I’ll give you three guesses as to who uses these terms most frequently, and the first two guesses are “Leftists still butthurt at Donald Trump beating Hillary Clinton.”
So, let’s put on our digital wetsuits and go all Jacques Cousteau on these terms.
What the Left thinks it means – virtual people spouting pro-Trump sentiments while giving away telltale signs they aren’t real, such as a low number of Twitter followers
What it really means – people the Left can’t defeat, so they defame
Let’s make one thing perfectly clear. There are people out there who have Twitter and Facebook accounts that are fake and should not be taken seriously. Nothing is gained by pretending to be someone you’re not online. I would go further into detail, but my court-appointed attorney has advised me not to go into specifics due to the pending litigation.
Now, this begs the question of whether there is a significant number of fake accounts for the allegations of a poster being a bot or a Russian bot to be true. If you believe the Left, there are so many bots that we might as well be under SkyNet’s digital thumbs. If you believe the Right, bots are as rare as believable Al Franken apologies. If you believe me, don’t because I really don’t have an answer. What I do have, though, is common sense.
Whenever there’s a situation that needs a thorough analysis, I start with a simple question: who benefits? This helps me focus on the matter at hand and strip away the non-essential details. So, who benefits from accusations of people being Russian bots?
Donald Trump? Not really. He’s already won the Presidency and has his own bully pulpit on Twitter, so he doesn’t need outside help to make his presence felt.
Trump supporters? Another swing and a miss. Trump supporters are usually pretty vocal in their defense of the President, and having their viewpoint potentially amplified by alleged Russian agents or bots makes no sense. Just like the President, they’re pretty good at speaking their minds.
The GOP? Possibly, but not likely. For the most part, Republicans are behind the curb when it comes to social media. Some of them have Twitter accounts, but they’re usually managed by interns or people far younger than they are because they’re more adept at the subtle nuances of social media. I’ve heard John McCain doesn’t text because he can’t figure out how to make the letters using the rotary dial.
The Left? DING DING DING! We have a winner! Considering the Left has a cottage industry in making Donald Trump look as bad as Freddy Kruger dipped in sulfuric acid, any even semi-reasonable points made by people outside of their bubble must be discredited. And while the Russian story can be milked, the Left will be yanking on those udders like a milkmaid working straight commission.
And how does the Left determine who is a bot? It depends on the situation. If you have few Twitter followers, it’s proof they’re a bot. If you say anything supportive of President Trump, it’s proof you’re a bot. If you question the Left’s narrative regarding Trump, it’s proof you’re a bot. If you’re breathing, it’s proof you’re a bot. In other words, not being a Leftist makes you a bot, and most likely a Russian bot.
Of course, most of these conditions have nothing to do with one’s botitude, but hey, the Left isn’t exactly known for being deep thinkers.
The funny thing about the Left’s bot obsession is how they ignore their own bot-like tendencies. Let’s review. They say the same things. They think the same way. They don’t deviate from their stock answers. Either the Left is not aware of what it does, or they’ve been taken over by SkyNet. And I haven’t completely ruled out the second one yet. Anyway, the Left must spend a lot of money on Windex to make sure their glass houses are kept up.
I’ve been called a number of things over the years online, and while most of them have been unflattering, they usually came from a position of inferiority or self-consciousness. Being called a bot or a Russian bot is no different. You can choose to either fight back or laugh it off. I personally prefer laughing it off because a) you’ll never get a Leftist to admit they’re wrong, and b) the Left can’t stand when their ideas are mocked. Laughing at their absurd claims is a good way to throw them off their game and give them the respect they’ve so richly earned.
Which is to say less respect than Rodney Dangerfield.