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People have handled the election of Donald Trump in different ways. Some have been happy. Others have been sad. Others have been more unstable than a house of cards on a wobbly card table on the San Andreas Fault.

Then, there’s California. (Granted, the lawmakers there might fall into that third category, but work with me here.) There has been a movement in California for the state to break away from the United States in the same vein as England’s Brexit movement. They’ve even come up with a totally original name, too: Calexit. Those Leftists are so creative!

Let’s take a look at the Calexit movement, shall we?

Calexit

What the Left believes it means – a movement for California to leave the United States and stand on its own

What it really means – the Mirror Universe version of Galt’s Gulch

If you’re not familiar with Galt’s Gulch, it’s a reference to Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged which deals with productive members of society deciding to drop out of sight and start life in a society where one’s efforts and productivity are championed instead of derided by those who are less productive than Keith Olbermann. In other words, the opposite of California right now. And, if Calexit proponents get their way, they will get to live out their Leftist version sooner rather than later.

On the surface, Calexit has merit. California is said to have the sixth largest economy in the world. Not in the US. The whole fraking world! And let’s not overlook the fact the global film industry is centered in Los Angeles, or the fact Silicon Valley is still pumping out global technology that we use (usually at least a year or two after Japan had it). Agriculture is still a major force there. So, why shouldn’t California break up with us?

Venezuela.

For a number of years, Leftists fawned over how Hugo Chavez ran a seemingly successful economy based around oil. (Also, Chavez mocked George W. Bush repeatedly, so Leftists loved him for that almost as much as his economy.) Chavez spent a lot on Leftist-approved causes.

Then the oil market crashed like the Exxon Valdez.

Suddenly, all those Leftist programs became unsustainable. As a result, their economy went into a nosedive, their currency became less valuable than a Hillary Clinton political endorsement, and widespread poverty has hit Venezuela hard. Now, who could have seen that coming? I mean, aside from anyone who has studied socialism for any length of time and realized the fundamental flaws. And it’s not like we haven’t seen the failures of socialism throughout history, either! If only there were a country that called itself socialist and even had “socialist” in its name…oh, wait. Try the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics!

What the Caliexit folks don’t realize is they are setting themselves up for the same problems Venezuela is experiencing right now. What happens to your economy when you can’t afford to keep illegal immigrants and poor citizens on the public dole? How high will your taxes have to be in order to keep your dreams of high speed rail afloat while people leave the state in droves? And how much pot will you have to smoke to make these problems go away?

The problems with Calexit go beyond the economic. If California leaves the US, they will have to give up the military bases within the state because those bases, equipment, and manpower technically are part of the United States. That leaves the California National Guard, and a good case can be made that the federal government can lay claim to those folks, too. If you strip away those two layers of national defense, you’re left to citizens with guns. Oh, wait, California has strict gun laws that only the law-abiding follow in the first place. Looks like you’re screwed, California!

Going back to agriculture for a moment, we see another major problem. Since California tends to be a bit on the arid side, they need irrigation to keep their crops (and rich people’s lawns) growing. That wouldn’t be a problem normally, but California tends to get a lot of water from neighboring states. Guess what happens if California leaves the US. Yep, that water goes away! And when you consider the state hasn’t figured out how to make desalinization a thing when they are literally on the ocean, it’s going to be a lot harder for crops to grow if Calexit becomes a thing.

There are a ton of logistical issues with Calexit (whether marriages in their state will be recognized elsewhere, whether people will need a passport to visit California, whether the state will get Congressional representation, just to name a few), and I’m not sure the Calexit fans have thought this out far enough. It reminds me of the time I decided to run away from home after I had an argument with one of my brothers. I packed up what I thought I needed, slammed the front door, and started heading for the street. Of course, I was too young to even go out on the street or go through neighbor’s yards without permission, so I wound up coming right back. Then, I turned 30, and my parents said I was mature enough.

If Californians want to leave the United States after electing Donald Trump as President, I have two words to say to you, courtesy of Curly Bill from “Tombstone.”

Well…bye.

Author: Thomas

I'm a small town boy living in the heart of Iowa watching the world go by with my wife and dog.